my heart speaks in here

i've lost..

2011-01-14T08:19:00.002+08:00

my spare tyre and have replaced it with a weird shaped balloon that can fly me to heaven anytime from now =)

creepy

2009-09-15T16:07:00.001+08:00

Eh, dah lama gle tak update. Malas sangat2. Bila ada idea pn ayat pulak tak keluar. So basically lagi suka blog hopping dari update blog sendiri. Hehe.. Tak lama lagi cam nak kena delete je blog ni. Ampun!

Creepy thing happened today. Pagi tadi hujan lebat gile. Aku hampir-hampir melanggar 2 students yang pakai uniform sekolah yang tetibe je jatuh moto betul2 depan kereta aku. Creepy, I know! Biasa la pagi-pagi semua orang drive sambil termenung. Ke aku je? Amik lane kanan sebab kalau ikut lane kiri pukul berapa nak sampai UPM. Ok aku tak termenung sebab aku nampak budak2 yang bawak moto depan aku tu kene simbah dengan air sebab cab from the other side bawak laju. Tetibe je moto dia terhuyung-hayang and jatuh. Tak sure la dia jatuh sebab kene percik air or sebab jalan tu licin. Nak emergency break sah-sah terlanggar jugak sebab bawak laju. So ke kiri sket dengan spontannye and tetiba ada moto pulak belah kiri tu. Perghh.. Dengan skill yang ada, nasib baik tak langgar budak2 and moto tu. Sket je lagi. Terkejut rasa nak tercabut nyawa. Alhamdulillah tak de pape. Kalau langgar pastu mati ke tak pasal-pasal aku rasa bersalah seumur hidup. Imagination tah pape. Rasa nak nangis pn ada sebab shock sgt. Haih.. Susah jadi orang yang cembeng ni.

By the way, hari raya dah dekat dah ni. Berapa pasang baju raya? Hehe.. Aku ada 1 je sebab banyak baju yang buat time kawen tak pakai lagi. First time beraya sebagai wife. Woot! Woot! Tak sabar2 nak tunggu Khamis nak balik Lumut. Pastu 1st day raya kat Perak. Petang balik Johor. Cuti seminggu. Wehoo! Best jadi student ni. Boleh cuti bila2 je rasa nak cuti.

Anyhoot, Selamat Hari Raya to everyone. Maaf zahir batin =)

P/S: Be careful drive balik kampung. Jangan ikut rapat sgt kete depan tu ;)

jeles ye?

2009-06-23T18:49:00.012+08:00

This morning, I received an email from a friend of mine with 2 wedding photos attached.

And my first impression,
OMG! Takutnye nak tengok gamba ni.

Ble bukak attachment
OMG! OMG! OMG! Aku dah agak dah mesti merah menyala. Dengan badan senget-benget pulak tu. Muke orang tu sengih melebar. Muke org tu pulak cam nak nangis je. Haha..

Do you know that certain mak andam just don't want you to look good and feel good and feel pretty and feel confident on your own wedding day? ON YOUR OWN WEDDING DAY for godsake! First impression tengok muka after make-up I was like, OMG! merahnye bibir. Macam orang kampung yang baru blaja nak pakai make up. So I told her, merah sangat la. Nak natural je. She answered, tak pe lah skali-skala.

I tried to wipe off the lipstick from my lips and mak andam tu dah start bulatkan mata. Tah kenapa time tu aku cam menurut perintah je. Mesti dia dah jampi pape. Memang dah tak comfortable gle time tu. Nak padam cam tak berkesempatan because she was everywhere. Jatuh self-confident on my own wedding day. Self-confident, please don't go away! Haha.. Dok pk, merah gle, merah gle. Sob sob.. Haih! Nasib baik tak kasi dia potong kening aku. Tah-tah senget sebelah nanti. I suspect that she was too jealous to see one cute bride because she wasn't that cute on her own wedding day. Haha.. Ye, sile muntah beramai-ramai.

I forwarded the email to my hubby

From: ajat hajar
Sent: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 11:55 AM
To: hubby dearest
Subject: FW: Salam

Oh My God!
I hate the lipstick color.
Malu x dpt wife lipstick tebal?
*nangis*

Nasib baik dia cakap tak malu. Kalau dia cakap malu, confirm cancel balik lumut weekend ni. Tapi memang betul2 nak nangis. Taknak tgk wedding pics kt sana boleh tak? Tapi kalau tanak tgk apsal aku letak kt sini? I can be so bengong sometimes!

typical question

2009-06-22T22:50:00.004+08:00

So how's your life after marriage?
Typical question that one would ask, I would say.
And my answer, biase je.

Well, nothing much. Masih hidup macam orang bujang. I'm still here and he's still there.I miss him and he miss me *perasan mode*. But, after 2 weeks we've been together, menghabiskan cuti yang tak rasa macam cuti pun, mestilah rasa lain macam bila tibe2 dia tak de. Tapi lama2 rasa ok je. And life goes back to usual routine. Cuma rindu tu je yang lebih sket daripada biase =).

Sapa kate wedding is fun? Pada aku, wedding is tiring but exciting in its own ways. Tapi penat, series penat. Rasa macam tak cukup je cuti 2 weeks. Rasa exhausted je on the first working day. Cuti sebulan baru cukup kot. Rumah aku ok lagi sbb pakai catering. Rumah dia masak sendiri. Nak mengemasnye, 3 hari pun tak cukup.

So far dah lapan hari tak jumpa dia. Weekend hari tu ada kursus so tak dapat jumpe. Can't wait for the Friday to come. I'm going back to Lumut! Home sweet home even though the house is still kosong. Rasa macam nak cuti je Friday ni tapi macam dah banyak sangat ponteng. Let's see. If I could finish a paper within this week, I'll reward myself with the cuti. Yeah right! Before kawen lagi aku dah berangan-anagan nak siapkan paper yang satu tu tapi tak jugak siap2. Hehe..

Ramai orang dah suruh upload wedding pictures. Tapi aku still tak dapat lagi softcopy from the photog. Hard copy dah dapat. Daymnn, sgt cantek and berpuas hati tgk album and photobook tu! Will update more on the wedding bile dpt softcopy nanti =)

Tetibe cam benci tengok blog sendiri. Layout buruk, blog bersawang. Tapi kemalasan berganda. Haih! *nangis*

Wedding Invitation

2009-04-22T10:01:00.003+08:00

Guys, I'm getting married to my beloved fiance on May 30th 2009.
All are invited!
Including silent readers kalau ada. Hehe..
Please leave your e-mail address or home address for my wedding card.
You can e-mail me at ajatvandy@yahoo.com.
Thanks in advance =)

call me lame, i don't care

2009-03-27T09:42:00.005+08:00

Ku bukan superstar kaya dan terkenal

Ku bukan saudagar yang punya banyak kapal

Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priyayi

Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai

I called this song lame first time I hear it in the car when we were on our way back from JB to KL. And now, I can't believe that I'm falling in love with it. Yay, I'm lame and so what? Call me lame, I don't care. Kenapa saya boleh jatuh cinta dengan lagu ni? Because I saw him enjoying this song. Siap nyanyi sambil buat gaya tangan sambil drive. Bukan main lagi. Annoying at first. Tapi cute!

Lagu ape ni?

Bukan superstar. Bukan u ke yang suke lagu ni?

Eh, bile masa? Tah pape je lagu ni.

Ooo.. silap. Farok yg ske.

Eh? Dia men lagu ni gune gitar karen eh?

*Keep singing sambil buat gaya sambil mengabaikan kekasih hati*

Dalam hati, Farok ske ke dia yang ske ni. Heheh.. Yes, he's responsible for making me like lame songs like this song, aku stacy, doctor cinta wtf. Tapi lagu ni best. Cam enjoy and happy je w/p pekat gila bahasa Indonesia dia. Don't you think so? Heck, I miss him like a whole lot! *tetibe*

You must be wondering, apehal la si hajar ni suke gle tulis entry yang lame. While other people are talking about PPSMI issue, I talked about lame thing. Call me lame, I don't care. What to do, I'm not interested in politics. Between, nowadays kalau nak bercakap atau menulis kene berlapik-lapik. Salah sikit je nanti kena saman. Mana tah hilangnya kebebasan bersuara. Nak komen banyak2 pasal PPSMI pon aku tak reti. Aku dilahirkan dan dibesarkan di KL. Tak pernah dan tak tahu macam mana keadaan hidup di kawasan pedalaman. Tapi nama je duduk KL. English aku boleh tahan hampeh jugak. Pon begitu, BM aku tak la sebagus mana. Sikit je yang aku nak komen. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih. Siapa yang makan cili dialah yang terasa pedas. Fikir-fikirkan lah. Rasa-rasanya tak perlu aku komen banyak2 sebab rakyat Malaysia sekarang semua pandai2 dan boleh berfikir sendiri.

Last but not least, presenting to all of you the lame song, bukan superstar with one intention, supaya anda semua menjadi lame seperti saya. Haha..

everything

2009-03-24T16:12:00.006+08:00

Dah lama tak tulis dalam blog ni. Each time I was about to write something in here I would go, ah what am I doing? I'd better do literature review or write chapter for my thesis yang tah bebila la nak siap. Tapi tak buat pon. Blame me for making you (kalau ada) come here but there's nothing new. Anyhoot, setelah lama tak tulis entry, I'd rather do random updates than buat short entry.

Random#1
I went to my fiancée's house at Kota Tinggi last week and guess what, aku ponteng 3 days in a row! Haih.. Macam mana la keje nk siap. Asik cuti je. Dengan bermacam-macam public holidays lagi sampai membuatkan aku cakap, eh banyaknya cuti tahun ni. Actually I only spent a night at his house which makes 2 days. Lagi satu hari tu sebab si dia ponteng kerja sebab penat nak drive all the way from Johor to Lumut, aku pun tumpang ponteng sekali pergi berpoya-poya mencuci kereta for free, menonton movie, dan makan-makan di mines. Macam dah tak de tempat lain lagi dah. Hihi.. Oklah, the reason we went back to Kota Tinggi was to accompany my fiancée settlekan surat kebenaran untuk nikah di luar negeri Johor. Everything was settled in one day (surat kebenaran and HIV test) and we spent the rest of the time jalan-jalan menikmati udara segar di Kota Tinggi.

I bought a sandal in one of the malls dekat Kota Tinggi because the old one sgt teruk dan nazak tapi masih nak pakai sebab malas cari. Ceh, cakap macam ada banyak mall je. Ok, actually, he bought it for me. The brand is Twinkle Star. Haha.. Terus pakai after beli. I looked at his, then looked at mine and start mumbling

Ceh, dia punye lee cooper. I punye u belikan Twinkle Star je?

Dia hanya tergelak kecil dan tersengih-sengih. What do you expect to find at Kota Tinggi anyway?

I like all the houses dekat area felda ayer tawar 3. I think the houses are cute in their own way. Ada halaman yang luas dan menghijau dan main road to each house entrance ada papan tanda nama suami and isteri who own the house plus red mailbox which I find quite catchy sebab seragam je semua rumah. Home sweet home. Comel! Should take picture next time I went there, which I supposed after kawen la. Sempat juga berkenalan dengan jiran rumah sebelah yang aku rasa macam best friend mak dia pulak.

Random#2
We had bought our wedding rings! Mine macam senang gila nak cari. Masuk satu kedai dah jumpa. Malas nak pikir banyak2. Dh suka amik je la. My fiancée, satu KL punya habib dia nak survey. Haaa.. Baru tau. Hari tu masa cari cincin tunang bukan main lagi dia kata kat aku.

Mesti la lama. U kan kalau cari cincin nak masuk sume kedai emas dalam KL ni.

Now his turn, baru tau perasaan nak cari best of the best. Hihi..

Random#3
We already got our wedding card! Simple je tapi ok la. Puas hati. Very cheap. I could say it's one of the cheapest card on earth.. I believe, kalau rajin survey, you can get cheap card yang tak nampak macam cheap sgt and still beautiful. Rasa macam membazir beli wedding card yang mahal because orang nak tgk peta rumah je. Plus, aku pon tak pernah nak simpan wedding card yang org kasi. Memang la tempting tgk card cntk yg harga RM1 and above tapi when his mom asked us to make 800 cards just untuk his relatives and org kawasan felda tu, we decided to find the cheapest. Banyak tu. Total of the cards that we bought were 1500 and I only took 500 of it for my relatives and friends. The price for each card is not even half of RM1. Hihi.. Budget maaa.. Banyak lagi nak guna duit lepas ni.

Random #4
I did my HIV test yesterday dekat PK UPM. It cost me RM32 and I was like serious eh kene bayar? Apasal dia wat kat Kota free of charge je. Fine la, duit tak de problem. Sekali bile pegi laboratory untuk amik darah, the nurse gave me an empty bottle sebesar jari. Sure ke nak kena amik a bottle of blood just for HIV screening? Apsal hari tu doktor kat Kota cucuk hujung jari je amik darah untuk HIV screening. Sgt tidak adil. Kenapa aku yang penakut darah ni kena amik darah byk while his beberapa titik je. Malang betul. I started to text him and nasib baik la dia willing to reply walaupn tgh busy buat kerja. Kalau tak lagi la aku meroyan dekat situ. So I said to myself, just go with the flow.

Takut ke?

Tak la biasa je. (buat2 berani)

Kalau takut x payah tgk ye.

Ok (sambil pandang tempat lain dan tiba2 rasa sakit)

Vein you ni. Tadi dah nampak. Pernah amik darah tak before ni? Ada problem?(tgk syringe and eh, apsal takde darah masuk pn)

Pernah and pastu lebam besar and lama gila.

Ok takpe, kita try tgn satu lagi.

Sudah! Sampai 2-2 belah tgn si penakut ni ko nak cucuk ye. Tak pandai betol la nurse2 kat sini. Nasib baik la she was the nicest nurse that I've ever met. Friendly, lemah lembut, senyum slalu, and console me like a kid bila nampak si muka penakut pucat lesi bila nak kena cucuk. Finally, I've to wait for an hour to get the result. Dalam hati cakap lagi. Hari tu dia tak sampai sejam pn. Menyesal tak buat dekat Kota je.

Random#5
I hate the new KFC song that they played over and over on tv and radio. Dia ciplak my one of my favy, Everything by Michael Bubble. Slalu tertipu. Bila kua music je mesti ready nak nyanyi lagu Everything tapi sekali lagu KFC. Daymnn! KFC should create their own melody la. Geram!

Random#6
I hate my supplier to the max. He ignored my phone calls for the last 1 month purposely and that he hates me too for calling him everyweek asking for my chemicals. Well, what do you expect me to do. I ordered the chemicals last year and they should have send the chemicals early january this year but they failed to do so till now. And to ignore my phone calls is disgusting. They should be responsible for the late delivery instead of make stupid of me. If you don't want our business then tell. We can find other company. No need to hide or something. Buang credit je bile call asik masuk voice mail. The company is DN Scientific and the sales executive who ignores me is Maswan. Lantak di situ aku nak reveal everything. I've called the manager today and have told him about his sales-not-so-executive behavior yg sgt menjatuhkan maruah company. The manager was like

Ya Allah

and promised to get back to me within these 2 days. I will never do business with this company again! Masalah camni la yang slowed down my research. Almost 4 months and I hate him, hate, hate, hate! Dah la auuuwww.. Geram lagi!

Alrighty, I think this entry should end right here because towards the end it's filled with hatred, no? I need to go back to the laboratory to clean the glassware. Malasnye! Even though I don't update as much, don't worry cause I still read your blog =). Happy working!

And in this crazy life

And through these crazy times

It's you, it's you

You make me sing

You're every line

You're every word

You're everythin

i'm making nanoparticles and not baking cakes

2009-01-20T17:47:00.004+08:00

I was thinking about updating my blog when suddenly I saw guest shouted at my shoutbox asking me to update. So here I go guest or whoever you are.

I've been abandoning this blog for quite sometimes because I just don't know what to write. I mean there are a lot to write in here but thinking that I have to arrange the words beautifully, I quickly raised my white flag and surrender. There are so many things had happened since my last entry and even if I update anything in here, my life is more than what I wrote in here. So please bear in mind that I'm not going to write everything but only the things that I want to write. I'm not interested to talk about something serious or requires lot of thinking because I've had enough and I might bore you with the details that I'm sure you don't want to know =p. Here are some random updates.

Random #1
I'm engaged to my fiancée, of course =p on 21st December 2008. Wohoo!! The name is hilmi. So the name hilmi and hajar seems to suit well. Haha.. Why hilmi? I know that he's the right person for me when I could feel that he loves me more than I love him. Haha.. Sounds not fair aight. But, I really can feel it. Not that I don't love him. I do, with all my heart but still I could feel that he loves me more than I love him. I've been with him for like 2 years? And so far we are still good. He could cope with my mengadeness, annoyingness, merajukness, craziness, stupid jokes, repeating questions blab la bla so well. Of course we fight over some stupid things at times but we manage to make up on the same day. Ok la, the longer is 24hours. Bear in mind that communication is the most important thing in relationship. Ecece.. Feel like unregistered dr love pulak =). Ok move on. Here are two pictures. Am too lazy to upload pics. Sorry!

me and my childhood friend
i just love this picture of him. skema! haha..

Random #2
I celebrated new year without any new year resolution (lame, I know) at Lumut with my fiancée. We were in the car, coming back from having a late dinner. No fireworks but there were lots of people mingle around the waterfront. It felt weird to see thousands of people over there because there was completely nothing. I were not suppose to be in Lumut on new year but I had to pick him up for kursus kawen since I used his car and that all the bus tickets were sold out.

Random #3
I attended kursus kawen for the 2nd time in my life on 3rd and 4th january. 2nd time I tell you. The 1st was on 2006(? Couldn’t remember) when my sister forced me to accompany her and it was boring and felt like sleeping throughout the whole course. But this time it was totally different. I was fully awake and energetic. Haha.. Well probably because I've the vision there and I could see clearly what I want to achieve from that 2 days kursus. The good thing was that I went there with my fiancée and he laughed the loudest at almost all the jokes during the kursus. Bukan main lagi. Haha.. And being me, I'm happy to see he enjoyed the kursus so much. So basically, I got 2 kursus kawen certificates! Bleh kawen 2 ke? Haha.. Ampun!

Random #4
I talked to my ex back in primary school (primary school, mind you) today. Ok actually I don't know whether to consider him as my ex or not. You know, cinta monyet. You only talked over the phone and were really shy when you confronted him (at that time). We are more open these days and I feel comfortable talking to him. So he started to ask me the most annoying question that is 'bile nak habis blaja ni?' Yes people, to tell you the truth, I hate that question to the extent that I feel like punching your face upon hearing that question come out from your mouth. You know, I'm doing research and there are lot of troubles I need to overcome throughout my study. Kalau senang ramai la org buat research ni. I even complain to my supervisor few times. I told her that I feel lost most of the time and she was like, you're making nanoparticles, not baking cakes and that really touch my heart. Haha.. So people, I'm making nanoparticles and not baking cakes. Next time before you want to pop out that annoying question again, remember, I'm making nanoparticles and not baking cakes. Haha.. Of course, not all the experiments menjadi just like you wish. Most of the time I've to repeat and repeat until I cried out loud, then baru la the experiment menjadi. So the rule is simple, cried few times before experiment jadi. Haha.. Byk pulak merepek. I think you got the point. I'm making nanoparticles and not baking cakes. Haha.. Ok back to point. One more Q from him ‘X penat ke blaja? Dh 25 tahun pn blaja lagi’. And the answer is simple. Ada aku kesah? Org lain umur sebaya bapak aku pn blaja lagi kt UPM ni. Haha.. I do enjoy my study because my timetable is very flexible. I kind of satisfied to choose continuing my study when my experiment menjadi and started to curse myself bila experiment x jadi like 'owh what am I doing here? I should be working'. You know, that kind of thoughts.

Random #5
We've decide the date for our wedding but I am not ready to announce yet. I kind of figure out what is the theme color and have already booked the photographer, costumes, and pelamin. Haha.. I'm not getting married these coming few days people. It's still early but I just don't want to think about it. Biar la the theme color is not beautiful or the pelamin is too simple, I've other things to ponder. I'm going to sit for CE (comprehensive exam) this semester prolly around april and I freak myself out just to think about it. CE exam is compulsory for all PhD student and fail it means I've to repeat it again. I don't want to repeat the hell and it's very important for me to prepare myself.

Okeh, panjang la pulak entry ni. I'm happy with my life right now. Overall, I think everything falls in the right place just like I want it to be. Remember, I'm making nanoparticles and not baking cakes. Haha.. Annoying, I know. Toodles!

~and now im thinking about how i wish i could go back, just for one more day

serabut

2008-12-09T17:39:00.004+08:00

If you cut off my head and take out my brain right now, you'd probably see winding wire (wire?)
Apesal la aku tak ikut cakap mak and jadi kerani after grad?
Daymn!

On the other hand, I'm done decorating the hantarans on eidul-adha together with my sister.
And am totally proud of it.
Cantek!
Haha..
Yeah, cantek for tangan yang tak berseni dan keras cam aku.
Tak la cantek, very very simple.
All we could think of while doing it was to finish everything as soon as possible no matter how ugly it would turn out so that we could lazying around and watch tv the whole day.
Tired at the same time wat mendelah tu sebab banyak lagi mende len nak kene pikir especially research yang tonggang-langgang.
Kepala totally berserabut sabut bile masuk je kawasan upm.
Makan tak lalu, tido tak lena.
Mandi je basah.
Kalau sebab cinta tak pe jugak.
Ni sebab research.
Haih!
Most of the time i feel like QUITTING!
No kidding.
Ade jugak yang quit betol2 ni kang.
Tak larat dah.
Why owh why??

P/S: I'm going to kuching next week. Tak tau la nak rasa happy ke tak?

~as the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here, right now

phototagging's nagging

2008-12-02T09:05:00.013+08:00

I know, the usage of 'bestest' sounds very wrong but I'll use it no matter what. So, I was tagged by my bestest friend. Tag ke? Since there's no rule and I don't really know how to play this tagging game created by him, I decided to copy and paste everything from his blog with minor modifications =p. Enjoy the gambar tonggang terbalik!
________________________________________

Hye.. watpe tu.. keja laa.. nampak cam main² ke? nak kacau boleh? boleh.. ada bawak senduk?

1. Hmm.. cantek jam.. beli kat ne?

Kedai jam la. Kt pertama complex. Jury, abg sedara aku yang belikan this year for my birthday present, and I'm deeply in lurv with my own watch tau. From 3++ dpt kurang smpi 1++. Haha..

2. Kasut ni macam familiar la. Bukan minah pendek yg selalu pakai tudung senget tu punye ke?

Minah tu suke kasut color pink la. Paap kasi kasut ni tau. For my birthday present masa third year kat vandy dulu. Now dah jarang pakai. Pakai untuk masuk lab je. Very the comfy and at the same time comot!

3. Seluar pun cantek.. cap boya ek?

Levis laa. Mak yg belikan as birthday present this year. Tapi dah buruk sebab kene lenjan. Mak, Levis 2 next year! Isyy.. gi la maen jauh². Takde keja ke?

4. Ala.. sombong la lu.. eh, baju tu tulis ape ek?

Road trip! Haha.. Jeep brand. Beli kat sogo time sale. Murah maaa... Sale aaa.. Sale aa.. 50%! 50%! Jom beli lagi!

5. Yang kat tangan kanan tu, amende tu?

Kat jari kecik tu cincin order of engineer. Dapat kat US after graduation. Tapi tak jadi engineer pon =p. Kat sebelah jari kecik tu cincin merisik bought by my love one. Bb, lurv u! Haha.. Tetibe je.
*note: penggunaan perkataan jari kecik sebab tak dapat pikir nama jari tu

6. Ooo yeke.. hmm.. ha, kalau jam lawa, mesti purse pun lawa kan?

Lawa! Lawa! Tapi sekarang dah x lawa. Guess beli kat US masa last year in vandy. Eh, perasan x? Apsal aku pakai brg lama je sume ni? Kalau x lama mesti birthday present. X leh jadi ni. Jom shopping!

7. Tipu ah.. takkan lah ni purse lu. Ha, ni mesti stail suka simpan duit dalam poket kan?

Banyak la ko punye stail. Tengok ah sendiri. Ini je yang ada. Huhuu.. Sumpah x tipu! Tulen bang.. Haha.. Wa pompuan maaa.. Mana simpan duit dlm poket. Kengkadang je. Poket ade kunci and matriks kad je. Senang nak swipe kalau masuk lab. Ha, tolong leh? Ko pegi hantar lurv letter ni kat bestest friend aku. Dah.. syuhhh syuhhh..

And finally, I lurvingly thank my jojoi for being the bestest of friends ever!

~treat us like some superstars, and only cuz that's what we are, you know we're going really far, and ya'll ain't even heard it all

please don't lie to woman

2008-11-21T15:17:00.003+08:00

While singing womanizer and munching tiger milk cookies, I browsed through the net and found this well, I could say funny article. Oh well, maybe this is an old article but ada aku kesah? TAK DEEE KANNN (baca dgn intonasi yg betul). Here it goes..

Please don't lie to woman

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up."

" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of salmon, some bluegill, and a few swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

You’'l love the answer…

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box….."

I just think that this article is hilarious.
Damn, just couldn't stop singing womanizer by Britney Spears.

Womanizer
Woman-Womanizer
You're a womanizer
Oh Womanizer
Oh You're a Womanizer Baby
You, You You Are
You, You You Are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

just take it easy and start

2008-11-18T23:15:00.009+08:00

I came across 3 must read blogs today. And the owners are going to stop writing, for a while I hope! What a coincidence.

At times I feel like I want to stop writing too. There's so much to tell but little time to write. Even blog-hopping activities have been reduced lately. And I can't think straight at the moment. There's just so much thing playing around in my mind. There's just so much thing to do and that sometimes I can't even think where to start.

Oh well, I have a chat with one of my colleagues today. She said just take it easy and start. The words absolutely hit my mind. There's no use to worry over small things. Then I have a chat with this one guy. Asking me how things are going. And I said everything is going ok but slow. And I'm damn worried about it. He said everything must be ok. You look happy all the time compared to others. And I was asking myself, do I look happy? Haha.. I think I am but my problem is that I always worry over small things. Haih! Looking around and I could see almost all my colleagues are frowning. Do I look like one of them? I hope I'm not =).

I could say I got almost all I want but in a hard way. But take negative things in positive ways, everything happens for a reason. These are all tests from Allah for I sometimes am a forgettable servant of Him. O' Allah, please make everything goes smoothly.

Talking about getting what I want in hard way, I even had to take my blood sample twice for my hepatitis b screening. The nurse told me, they didn't get enough of my blood sample for the first injection and imagine they only told me this after 3 days when I was desperately want the result immediately. But nevermind, so last Thursday I came again for the second time. This time they got the right amount but my hand ended up swollen. The pictures say it all. Everyone is looking at my hand as if they never see my hand before. I'm so gonna hate the nurse. Haha..

day 1
day 2
day 3
today

Ok, lets just forget about the dark side and move on to the bright side. I went back to Perak last weekend and we went to Jitra for my cousin's engagement. Accidentally, I found a friend back in Matgwar and she kept saying what a small world we live in. She reminds me of my boarding school sweet memories. I couldn't stop smiling when I think of it =).

Anyhoots, another bright side is that my engagement will be held on 21st December, InshaAllah. I am excited to read all your comments in the previous entry. Some of you are over-excited than me =). Anyway I am happy when all my friends are happy. Share happy twice happy, share sorrow half sorrow.

Okie dokie. Till fingers meet keyboard again. Cheers!

~masuk tempat orang bawak otak bukan pisau

*mule2 dgr lagu ni pisau tu mcm pisang =p

happy october

2008-10-31T13:29:00.004+08:00

I know, I know. I owe you guys a nice long entry. October flies so fast. Pejam celik pejam celik dah 31hb. And since today is the last day of October, I decided to write an entry about October before it's too late because for me, October 2008 is a bless month well, at least for me la kan.

1st October, semua org tau la, 1st day of raya kan. And I celebrated my raya dekat rumah je. Tolong mak masak rendang sume and dah. Nothing interesting except for ade la few relatives yang come over and dapat celebrate raya with my first and only niece, for now la.

4th October was Saturday. I went back to my kampung together with my sister and brother. So, just the three of us. But it was fun anyway got to meet our relatives and my cousin got engaged on the same day. And since I consider myself as dah bekerja, it was my first time kasi duit raya kt cousins and relatives yg kecik2. Hehe.. Happy to see their happy faces. Balik pon balik hari je. 3hrs drive pegi, and more than 3 hrs drive balik sbb jalan jem yang amat. Cam semut je kete jalan. Time tu people dah start balik KL sbb dah habis cuti.

And the best part was 19th of October. I could say tarikh keramat. Eh wait, keramat tu ape eh? Men bantai je cakap tp x tau the true meaning. They were 9 adults and 5 kids minus my relatives yang datang berbondong-bondong. Hihi.. Another word yg tah betol ke x penggunaan dia. You wanna know who they are? Sure? Ok. Perkara gembira harus dikongsi bersama kan. Jeng jeng jeng..

*drum roll*

-
--
---
----

Ish.. penat la wt dash bebyk ni. They were my future in laws! Hahaha.. Caya x, caya x.. Tettt! Kidding! Aku masih muda kn.

Tapi the truth is, betol la. Hehe.. Guess the time has come. Kelly Ng sikit di situ. No, bukan bertunang. Rombongan merisik je. Woot! Woot! No more berpoya-poya with guys dh lepas ni ok. Ramai kan yang datang. Dia of course la, his parents, aunty, uncle, his 2 sisters, his 2 brother in laws, and his 5 nephews(sume laki) including Haris =). Phewww.. Abah cakap ni nak merisik ke nak bertunang ni? Sengaja kitorang pilih time raya. Bole la beraya dlm paksa. Err, bukan paksa. Beraya dalam niat yg lain.

We are both excited and me obviously la penat bangun pagi2 kene masak sume. Eh, bukan masak. Tolong2 je. Hihi.. Dengan ade sedara-mara yang datang beraya lg. Series penat. And I was shocked to see they were coming dgn dulang hantaran yg dihiasi gubahan bunga. Dari jauh nampak I was like eh, eh.. Derang bawak ape tu?

And yes, other than cincin merisik yg dipilih sendiri, I also got kain sutera and yummylicious cake from future family in laws. Siap hias bagai yg x tahan tu. Luckily I bought cake and chocolates a day before. So time-time tu jugak la kitorang er not kitorang, my aunty decorate the stuffs with ribbon. Yg lain2, memang dah siapkan 3 types of kuih yg nk dikasi which were tart nenas(nenas or nanas), kuih bakar ke?, and kuih chocolate rice including puding jagung. Haha.. Kalau my cousin tau ni mesti dia ckp minah ni x habis2 dgn puding jagung. Kuih tu pn sume kuih tunjuk2 je. Well, handmade cookies awal2 lagi dh hbs. Ade tangkap gamba tp semua dlm my sister's camera.

I could say, it was a memorable day for me. Pleasure sebab dikelilingi insan2 tersayang. We have decide the date for engagement but sorry la sbb x dpt ajak semua dtg. It's going to be a simple ceremony for relatives and close friends only. Sape my close friends yg baca ni? Angkat tangan! InshaAllah this coming December kalau x de aral melintang. Pray for me, will you? And tarikh kawen, don't ask me this question yet. Lambat lagi kot. But don't worry, I'll definitely invite all of you to my wedding, inshaAllah =).

Weekend yg lepas pn sgt busy. Got to attend my housemate back in pasir gudang punye wedding dkt Puncak Alam, Kuala Selangor. I went there with my ff (future fiance =p). Seronok, sbb dpt jumpe kengkawan MMHE dulu. Lepas tu g KL cari brg hntran utk tunang. Barang yg simple2 je. Pastu malam his sister held open house dekat saujana impian golf resort. Dpt jumpe family in laws to be. Then, we spent the whole Sunday searching for kain utk buat baju tunang and kain nikah for hantaran tunang dkt nilai. And also cincin tunang all over KL. Sume kedai aku nk masuk. Sakit jiwa je mr ff. Last2 patah balik masuk the first habib yg kitorang pegi. Well, he's not the fan of white gold. Then yellow gold it is. Whatever, as long as he paid for it dengan penuh kasih sayang, I'm super-duper happy with it =).

Okie dokie. I lurv October. Walaupun dpt pegi 4 raya open houses je sbb busy, but I'm satisfied with everything. My weekends filled with joy and laughter and my weekdays filled with workloads. I'm content and I couldn't ask for more. I hope your October was as good as mine =). Will definitely update more about engagement nnt. Or maybe you guys want me to introduce mr ff kt blog, I would be more than happy to do so. Take care ok. Byebye!

~But I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait, I'm yours

adorable auni hanania

2008-10-09T10:24:00.004+08:00

Got to share these beautiful pictures with you =).

Hello world. My name is Auni Hanania. I was born on 25th September 2008. I'm now 15 days old. I'm cute, adorable, and bright, just like my aunty =). Hihi.. My aunty loves me so much. She can look at me all day long doing nothing. She likes to cuddle me and kiss me like there is no tomorrow. Owh, I love my aunty too =).

1st day - right after delivery

i'm 3 days old =)
~rock-a-bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock

Eid Mubarak!

2008-09-25T10:29:00.003+08:00

Eid ul-Fitr is just around the corner. We are still left with 5 more fasting days and walla, with only a blink the eid is here. I haven't really prepared anything yet. Just two pairs of traditional clothes and that's it. Owh, and a pair of high heels bought by mr bf for me as he wants me to be as tall as him. There, I think you can imagine how high the heels are. Exaggerate, I know! I've already baked two kinds of cookies and they are almost gone since my brother can't stop munching it after break fasting. Whatever, am planning to bake two more cookies which are the easy-kids-know-how-to-bake cornflakes cookies and almond London cookies. Well, depends on my mood =p.

When people are busy going back to their hometown, that's the time when I'm gonna continue my shopping spree =). This year it's gonna be the first time in history for me to celebrate eid in KL. I wonder how will it be. The road is sure free from cars and I'd get to continue my sleep after the eid prayer. Sounds not fun at all. Sigh.

Anyhoots, the best part is that we'll be celebrating raya with a newborn baby girl with Auni Hanania as the name! My sister safely delivered her baby around 8 something this morning. That's the main reason of why we're not going back to celebrate eid at our village.

Can't wait to see this baby girl. Finally, I have my own niece. Yay! I hope all is well in the hospital. My sister is my role model since I was a kid. She's quite different from me. She plays a lot of games including psp, xbox, ps2 you name it all day long but still score during her exams. Genius I would say. And if you say that I'm a quiet person, she talks less than me. But I love her and love is all that matters =).

Okie dokie. I'm going home now. Eid Mubarak to everyone. From the deepest of my heart, I'm sorry for everything I've done or said or wrote or anything that might hurt each and every one of you. After all I'm just a normal human being. Zero-Zero ok ;)

Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf Zahir dan Batin
~and it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is

mix up

2008-09-15T14:42:00.006+08:00

I drove all the way from KL to Lumut and from Lumut to KL over the weekend without realizing that my driving license was expired on 18 July. Selamat x de road block.

And I almost choked when he said that he wants to work offshore with Tali*sman En*ergy. Gulp! What is that suppose to mean? Another tragic story or I need to take How to Be Independent 101 course. Ok, lets hope he won't bring this topic again later since I already gave him a big NO-NO sign! Selama nih aku dok bc blog awek and isteri org2 kapal. Never imagine being at their place pn. And I know how hard it's gonna be if he stays true with that. Thank you. I know I'm selfish. Kena tepat kt hidung balik. Hari tu dia x kasi bond ngn UPM tp nk jgk. Yeah, but deep inside I really want him to go. Macam jahat x kasi org tu achieve dreams kn. Sob..sob..

It's true, 1st paragraph and second paragraph x de kena-mengena. And this picture pn was taken months ago.

~oh how quiet, quiet the world can be, when it's just you and little me

auwwww..

2008-09-11T14:40:00.002+08:00

Aku dh berniat. Bulan puasa nk kurangkn mencarut. Nk ckp benda2 baik je.

10 September 2008
4.07pm

The hp was ringing.

Kt skrin tepon:
03-27238550 is calling.

Ish, nk angkat ke tidak? Cam x familiar je no ni. Mesti org nk jual brg. Tp klu x angkat kang kot2 supplier pulak call. Angkat je la. Kedengaran suara yg sedikit auwwww di hujung talian.

Hello.

Hello. Boleh saya bercakap dgn [insert full nama here].

Ye saya.

Saya dari CIMB bla la bla.. Saya nk bg tau cik terpilih untuk menyertai insuran takaful CIMB blab la bla.. Insuran ni bermusim tau cik. Bla.. bla.. bla..
*bla bla bla sbb aku x ingt ape dia ckp. laju sgt mengalahkn bullet.*

X pelh saya x berminat.

Kenapa cik? Saya x habis ckp lagi. Cik x dgr details lg.

Hmm.. X pelah. Sy mmg x berminat benda2 mcm ni.
Politely ok.

Kenapa cik? Nnt klu cik sakit ke, accident ke x pyh susahkn mak bapak.

Tah. Sy mmg x berminat.

Pastu dia ckp dgn lajunye.
X pelh cik. Nnt klu cik sakit ke, mati ke, mak bapak meratap. Bye!

Terpinga2. Ape dia ckp? Laju gle.

Pk jp. Mengomel2 sendiri.

What the hell mamat ni? Ckp mcm tu ke klu nk jual insurans! Dh la pondan. Ko doakn aku sakit or mati time bulan pose ni? #%&*@&&*&@TY%&*

Hello… Klu ye pn ckp la elok2. Aku x ske la salesman2 ni. Salesman ke? Lantak la. Klu aku nk pape, aku sendiri g carik kt kedai. X yah dtg jual bende kt aku. Hilang pahala puasa aku cursing mamat auwwww tu je semlm. Dang!

~get out of my eyes teardrops, i've got heartaches by the pound

kisah buka puasa

2008-09-10T19:11:00.002+08:00

How is your Ramadan so far?

Yesterday was my first day break fast dekat masjid kt malaysia ni. Hihi.. Berapa tahun dh hidup. Kat US dulu slalu la. Almost everyday on Ramadan mkn free. Kt sini kalau rajin balik rumah berbuka puasa kt rumah je. X pon klu mls sgt g param and balik mkn sorang2 dlm bilik which is loser gle. Haha..

Kt rumah dh tentu2 lauk superb. 2 hari lepas aku beli kt param je. Kuew teow grg, ayam percik, and kuih keria or I prefer to call it kuih gelang. Ayam percik dia cm x msk sgt. Dang! Rs cm nkg sn and baling je ayam tu kt org yg jual tu. Tp bulan Ramadan bulan yg mulia kan. Haha.. So not me! Ble nmpk je cam ade darah mengalir, trus hilang selera. Dh la mahal lak tu. Geram je. Dgn kuew teow skali aku buang sbb x de selera. I told abah and dia ckp tu psl dia x suke beli food kt param sgt. Org2 yg jual tu ramai yg jual time bulan Ramadan je. X de experience means x de la kualiti food dia.

So, I was dreaming to eat varieties of food kt masjid semlm cam time berbuka kt ICN kt US dulu. Wow wee! Food kt ICN kelas gle and sgt sedap! So, what did I eat yesterday? 2 pieces of kurma and nasi lauk kari daging. Note that daging dia cepotet je n no veggie sbb dh hbs. Org punye la ramai. Haih! Series lapik perut je. Balik je frm terawih g singgah bli burger n yogurt. Ingt nk beli mcd tp cam melampau la pulak sbb mkn nasi time berbuka tu. Just lack of lauk-pauk je. Dgn cawan x cukup bagai. Aku x tau la klu masjid UPM je cmtu. Kate 1st time berbuka kt masjid.

Pastu cam tetbe emo plk. I miss US and I miss everyone back in US w/p hari tu br je berbuka puasa sm2 kt KLCC. Ramadan kt US best w/pn x delh param2 ni sume. Few Muslims tapi kemeriahan dia x penah kurang. Klu nk kuih2, msk sendiri. Tp food berbuka puasa kt ICN sedap! Semayang terawih pn though 8 rakaat je tp lama. Yelh, nk habiskn 1 juzuk sehari. Sempat la berangan-angan time sembahyang tu. Oppppsiiee.. ni apply kt aku je =p. Kt sini rs kjp je dh settle 8 rakaat. Anyhow, I lurv the month of Ramadan. At least masa mlm aku terisi dgn aktiviti2 beribadat dan berfaedah. Huhu.. Cepat je dh pukul 10. Pastu leh tdo. Hehe..

Byk lg nk tulis, tp cm dh mls. Nnt la tulis lagi.
Take care people!

~don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

to nurses out there

2008-08-27T16:20:00.002+08:00

Tah kenape aku cam benci nurse pulak.
I hate nurse!!!

You want to know why?
His ex is a nurse.
And each time we walk together or time dlm kete or time bebile je la ternampak nurse bersepah-sepah kt tepi jalan, he would go..

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuu… Nurse!

Bencikan!
And yes, aku sentap di situ.
Rasa mcm nk sepak2 dia kt situ jugak.
Rasengan skali pon sedap jugak.
Aku x tau la dia saje2 buat ke ape.
Tapi nampak mcm tindakan dia refleks dan di luar kawalan.
Apekah??
Adekah nurse nampak lebih cool dari tutor mcm aku.
Fine, tutor is a geek, NOT!
Ahhh.. Bencilah!

No offence to nurse out there ok.
Bkn semua org membenci nurse.
Tapi ade jugak yg benci.
Haha..
Nak jugak menang.

commitment

2008-08-22T10:59:00.004+08:00

Bile aku ckp psl commitment ni, mesti ramai org yg tertanya-tanya. Dah nk kawen sgt ke minah ni. Before ni ckp psl merisik. Ni psl commitment pulak. Sebelum korang terus hanyut dgn pelbagai spekulasi korang yang tah betul tah tidak tu, meh sini aku bagi sedikit penjelasan. Yes, memang aku nak kawen. Tapi bkn la dlm masa terdekat nih. Bukan, bukan sekarang. Byk lagi benda yg x selesai dalam hidup ni. Haih korang pn. Ade ke org yg dlm dunia ni tanak kawen? Mengong! Haha..

Commitment. A simple yet meaningful word. Since that day, bile aku dgr je org sebut pasal commitment, automatically otak aku refresh something from the past. Perkataan ni meninggalkn byk kenangan dlm hidup aku. There was this one time a guy ckp psl commitment dgn aku and yes, that was the worst day in my life. Esoknye, aku bukak oxford dictionary with my swollen eyes, with only one attention: that was to find the real meaning of commitment. I mean, obviously aku phm maksud commitment tu masa dia cakap. Cume mcm x kena je ape yg dia ckp dgn pemahaman aku.

Commitment:
1. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause or policy
2. an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action

And guess what did I do with the finding? I rummaged all my stuff, looking for my yellow post it notes, copied it down and few days later, tadaa…. the note was right up on my cubicle's wall back in MMHE. And it didn't stay there long because I moved. I continued my study in UPM and there, the note was moved into my new room right in front of my study table.

But now of course I didn't keep it. Eleh, dh bleh hafal dh. Kacang je. Hehe.. Berlagak je. Not! The truth is I don't want to spend too much of my time thinking about the past. Past is history, now it's victory. Haha.. Tetibe.

Anyhoot, I've realize one thing. Kehidupan kite takkan pernah terlepas dgn commitment. Ko pegi la mana-mana pun. Lari la sejauh mana pn, there is always commitment. Commitment keje, blaja, relationship, family, you name it. Jgn commit suicide sudah.. Cheers!

Haih..
Apesal aku tulis entry ni?
Sbb suddenly teringat kt dia.
Kenapa tetibe bole teringat kt dia?
Because I'm a normal (read: N.O.R.M.A.L.) human. Like hello.. it's normal to sometimes miss someone you used to miss ok.
Dah, stop asking nonsense.
For now.

~well don't waste time, give me a sign, tell me how you wanna roll

cakap-cakap 1

2008-08-21T19:45:00.005+08:00

Masa mak you dtg merisik nanti, you ikut ke?

Kena la ikut, nanti kalau tetiba bapak you cakap hantaran 20 ribu, bapak I mesti pandang I and tanya, 'boleh ***?' Kalau I angguk baru ok.

Hehe.. Dah tu I nak kena ada ke? Duduk dapur nyorok-nyorok or duduk sekali dengar orang berbincang.

You kena la duduk sebelah I. Kita kan nak berbincang.

Ooo.. Kena pakai baju kurung eh?

Pakai la baju pape pun. Tak kisah.

Kena buat-buat ayu la eh? I tak dapat bayangkan. Mesti rasa nak gelak je nanti. You tengok muka I, I tengok muka you pastu rasa nak gelak-gelak.

Tak la. Biasa je. Dia ni suka fikir bukan-bukan.

Nak kena makan nasi ke nanti?

Tak payah. Buat macam biasa je. Minum air je.

Ok, nanti I buat teh o and beli goreng pisang je la banyak-banyak. Tak pun you je yang bawak on the way datang rumah I. Boleh?

And they both smiled. Happy =)

*dialog ini x de kene mengena dgn dia, dia atau dia

takotnyeeee!!

2008-08-07T12:06:00.010+08:00

I feel nervous each time I think of IELTS exam which is just around the corner because I haven't start studying. IELTS is International English Language Testing System. There will be four modules overall including Reading, Listening, Writing, and Speaking. All the modules except Speaking will be on this Saturday. Yes, this Saturday! And the Speaking module will be on Monday. Takottnyeeee sbb x prepare pape lagi. Mls yg amat plus x de mood langsung nk study. Help me!

The time has come for me to pray hard. Owh, I shouldn't say this. My dad will scold me if he ever hear me saying this. Dia slalu pesan, klu doa je tp x berusaha mcm mn nk berjaya. Yup, that is him. I remember this one time. Aku solat depan dia. Pas smayang je terus bukak telekung sume. And abah being abah. He scold me for not reciting doa and zikir after prayer. Abah pesan, Rasullullah SAW bersabda, org yg x bc doa or zikir or at least selawat lepas solat ialah org yg kedekut. Huhu.. And thank him, after that day I seldom miss reciting doa and selawat after solat though sometimes skip jgk la =p

Help me!
Sempat lagi x nk study?
Tomorrow night mmg x dpt la. My relatives are coming all the way from Perak. Xkn nk jd nerdy study time org rmi kt rumah. Plus the budak2 jahat. Haih!

Tonnes of test papers are waiting on the table to be marked by me.

And I was busy downloading sindarela from tvseries4u.blogspot.com?

Ok, ok. I should be studying now. I'd better do good. I've paid RM530 for this exam. Hehe..
Daaaa~

~to be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you

miskin jugak

2008-08-01T19:08:00.002+08:00

Look at here.
Dia sedikit miskin.
Tapi aku sgt miskin.

Repair kereta = RM290
Study fee = RM1750

Tak termasuk duit kereta dan sewa bilik dan bg mak bapak dan macam-macam lagi dan la.
Benar, lagi ko berduit, lagi x cukup duit ko tu.

Gaji first aku habis di situ saja.
Tolong jgn mintak aku blanje.
Kopak jugak!

*check2 calendar*
Baru 1hb.
Mari jerit beramai-ramai.
Daymnnnnn!!!

~well you done done me and you bet i felt it, i tried to be chill but you're so hot that i melted

jalan-jalan

2008-07-30T11:22:00.006+08:00

Sgt kemalasan untuk mengupdate.
Tah kenapa tah.
Mood update entry x dtg2 lg.

I went to Pangkor again last Thursday till Saturday but this time not with mr bf. Reached Lumut around 12.30p.m. and had lunch with bf. When I looked at his face, felt like I don't wanna go to Pangkor. I don't mind spending all the days with him at Lumut only. Yeah right! But I've promised my sister to join her vacation and promise will always be a promise.

My sister left her car at my bf's house before he sent us to the jetty. Went there with my sister and her friend. Everything was fun except for the wave yg menggila and thus we couldn't go kayaking. But it was still fun sbb dpt snorkelling for the first time. Haha.. Ketinggalan gle.

Spent two nights at Nipah bay, rent a car, and tour the Pangkor Island like no other w/p dh berkali-kali dtg sini. My sister and her friend bought lotsa souvenirs and food yg tah pape sampai penuh kete. Some of the stuff terpaksa letak kt seat belakang kete. Glad aku x minat sgt sate ikan ape kejadah tu sbb klu x for sure brg2 kene nek atas bumbung kete. Took a lot of pictures but as usual, gamba dkt pulau tu x boleh ditayangkn kt blog ni. Nnt timbul controversy pulak. Ceh, mcm artis je nk controversy2 ni.

pangkor
the sea

Anyhow, I got to spend half of my Saturday and a small portion of Sunday with mr. bf as my sister decided to spend a night at her friend's house in Lumut. Fun fun fun. Everything was rainbow and butterfly, and sweet chocolate like always but at the same time rs mcm x puas je. And he said that he'll come to KL this weekend for us to meet up lagi. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Seronok dpt bf yg rajin melayan kemengadaan dan kegedikan gfnye ini. Hihi..

The vacation didn't end there. Balik kampung on Sunday and ate lots and lots and lots of rambutan, langsat and durian. Bawak blk KL summore and aku kepeningan dgn bau durian all the way from kampung to KL. Dpt jumpe kakak and brother in law juge. Hah.. Pictures kt kampung bleh letak sbb sumenye sopan dan menutup aurat. Sopan la sgt kn. Hihi..

durian yg sedap
tmpt penyimpanan stok. hihi..
kakaks and abg ipar
muke gembira dpt mkn durian
rambutan yg manis dan lekang. sedap!!
langsat yg dipetik. petik ke?
pemanjat pokok langsat yg pro
2 budak jahat =p

That's it. Byebye!

~you stay a little while, and touch me with your smile

pail, durians, and me

2008-07-18T14:55:00.008+08:00

owh, what if i was carrying all of these?

I was from my room at 7th floor and was about to take the lift to ground floor. One of my hands was holding a big purple pail full of dirty laundries and a pillow on top of it while the other was holding a black handbag. At the same time, there was a laptop hanging from my right shoulder. It was really uncomfortable but I did that first thing in the morning before I went to teach tutorial. Today is the first day I teach tutorial for this new semester which sounds sooo good.

Pushed the lift button and when I got in, I saw two students carrying Modern Engineering Mathematics textbook looking weirdly at me and I went

Shit! Are they my students? My students see me with the pail and the pink covered pillow?

That was so embarrassing. Drop sekejap maruah. Haha.. It wasn't really maruah. But you know, first impression should always be good. First impression will always influence subsequent judgements of other people. But hey, it was already happened. There's no turning back.

First thing I always do in the first day of tutorial is to sit with the students until the clocks struck 8a.m. That is the time when I start to teach. I just love to see the students' impression towards me and usually they would think that I am one of them which will make me feel younger. Hehe.. Perasan mode.

But when I entered the class this morning, I couldn't find any spot to fill in. The classroom was full. There were 47 students after all and almost half of them are Chinese. The second thing I aimed to do today was to find the two students that I met in the lift. But unfortunately I couldn't remember the 2 faces after I saw the 47 faces.

The class went well and when I stepped out of the class, I felt satisfied. I mean really, really satisfied. Satisfaction - The feeling I usually have each time I successfully answering all the questions given and the feeling I usually have each time they say thank you to me for all the knowledge I share with them.

i lurv durians

After the class, I went to pick Paap to accompany me to buy durian at Bukit Ekspo. Kesian paap, bgn2 tdo je kene paksa teman beli durian =p. Bukit Ekspo is located in UPM and they sell fresh durians from the orchard within UPM. The price is quite cheap, RM2.50/kilo. But unfortunately, when we arrived there were only a few left. I only managed to buy 5 durians =(. Am not sure about the taste but I still buy it anyway. They say the orchard produces one of a kind delicious durians. Thanks to Paap, he was the one responsible to carry all the durians that I bought. Hehe.. It is so good to have him around. He accompanied me to eat my dinner last night. We had satay at Taman Warisan Pertanian, Putrajaya. Owh god, I'm so in lurv with the roti john they sell over there. Yummy!

We're going to have Kenduri Kesyukuran for EAC that I explained earlier at 5pm today. And after that I'm going home. Weeeeeeeeeee...

To tell you the truth, I always have problem on how to end every entry that I wrote. So byebye and happy weekend!

~see i'm a young soul in this very strange world, hoping i could learn a bit bout what is true and fake

pathetic

2008-07-16T23:30:00.005+08:00

Dh 2 minggu rumet aku tgglkn aku sbb sambung study kt USM. Dan dh 2 minggu jgk la aku mkn sorang lunch n dinner except for weekend. Sobb.. sob.. Fine! Adelh 2-3 kali aku mkn ngn kwn len. Tp klu 2-3 kali tu nk compare dgn 2 minggu sgt jauh beza ok. Pathetic gle! So slalunye aku akan tapau n mkn kt dlm bilik. N kdg2 x mkn sbb mls.

Bole je sbenarnye nk mkn kt kedai tu sorang2. Tp wtnye aku jmpe org yg aku kenal mesti derang cop aku loser gle. Haha.. As if x penah wt je kn. Aku akan wt klu dh cnfrm btol x de org yg aku kenal mkn kt situ. Bkn ape, aku tnk org kesian tgk aku. Aku bkn suke org kesian tgk aku. Like they care je kn =p

Kesiannye la bdk ni mkn sorang2.
X de kawan ke?

Ye, aku tau perasaan itu. Sbb aku slalu kesian ble tgk org mkn solo2 kt kedai. Mkn seorang diri agak pathetic dan langsung x menyelerakan. Mungkin korang rs biasa tp aku x rs cmtu. Oi! Oi! Ape tunggu lg? X reti2 nk teman aku g mkn? Dh byk hint aku kasi ni.

Jpg nk mkn kfc.
Nk beli berapa ketul?
10 ketul. Lapa gle. Hehe.. X la.
Ooo.. dinner plate eh?
X la snack plate.
Mn ade snack plate. Tu tgh hr je.
Eh, ye ke?
Betulll!! *sambil gelak*
Cis, kene tipu!

Ptg td dek kelaparan yg amat sgt sbb x mkn lunch, aku tapau kfc dkt kfc. Heheh.. Order snack plate n cheesy wedges. Nyumnyum. Sgt sedap sbb dh lm x mkn kfc.

snack plate yg didakwa hanya dijual waktu lunch
very cheesy cheesy wedges

Tu je.
Aku tgh sangap ni.
Lets midnite movie anyone?
I want my rumet!!!
Gilo!

~instead of clowning around lets look for some common ground

same old shoes

2008-07-14T16:46:00.005+08:00

I've decided to stop complaining and be grateful with what I own at the moment.
Belajar2 la bersyukur ye kawan2.

It has been very long kah since I last updated my blog?
Sorry2, I've been super-duper busy lately.
Tutor baru la katakan =p.
Plus today and tomorrow we are having EAC (engineering accreditation commission) in UPM.
EAC ini sgt important untuk warga2 engineering faculty dkt UPM ni.
Purpose: So that course engineering kt UPM ni diiktiraf internationally.
Maka senang la student2 UPM nk cari kerja overseas nnt =)
Preparation dh dibuat since last year lg tp x siap2.
Itu pasal la sgt busy bee.
Actually byk je masa klu nk update blog tp kenape tah, aku lebih suka menghabiskan malamku dgn tdo, keluar berpoya-poya ataupn menonton cerita korea.
Heaven!
Plus, I feel like my passion for blog has been decreasing tremendously.
Ampun! Ampun!

Okay, I just want to put up pictures of my new office yg sgt serabut sabut.
Kate baru move in kn.
X sempat nk berlawa2.
But I managed to steal a carpet and a vase of flowers from home =D

meja bersepah dan wayar yg berselirat
rak buku yg masih kosong
saja
carpet tempat landing sewaktu mengantuk. kene beli small cushion ni =p

Last but not least..
Tadaaa...

my favorite old shoes

Gilakah?
Letak gamba kasut lama.
I bought it back in Troy, New York.
Very comfy =)
USD60 tau.
Kasut yg terpaksa dibeli for my sister's commencement day sbb I flew to New York alone with a pair of sneakers.
Masa tu menyesal beli sbb bankrupt tp skrg rs x rugi pulak sbb tahan lama.
And owh, owh..
I'm wearing my mom's baju kurung today!
Haha..
Rembat saja.

Happy Monday!

~i'm losing my mind and i don't think it's clever

have you ever

2008-07-02T10:12:00.003+08:00

Have you ever done something big or important not because you really want to do it but because of something else?

Maybe your job is not your dream job but because you couldn't get any better job, so you stick with your not-so-dream-job. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend, you love him or her so much but not as much as you love your ex but because you're afraid that you might end up not getting married forever if you wait for your ex, so you stick with him or her. Or maybe because you think that only love could cure your heartbreak but actually it didn't work the way you expect it to be, but still you stick with him or her.

You did something not because you really want to do it but you do it because you feel secure by doing it. You feel stuck but you keep on doing it hoping that one day everything will turn out the way you want it to be. But at the same time you know that it is stupid for you to not do anything and expect it to change the way you want it to be. You say that it is your fate therefore you couldn't change it and everything has been decided. You keep on doing it, keeping in mind the thing that you do is your destiny hoping that you could sleep soundly every night. But could you really sleep??

~you tell me your life's been way off line, you're falling to pieces everytime

restroom

2008-06-27T14:55:00.003+08:00

Hari ni aku x rs pn nk update blog.
Tp, sbb ade satu incident yg jd td trus aku rs nk update blog.
Fresh lg ni.

Nk tahu??
Mesti nkkn.
Sibuk je =p
Heheh..

Td before solat aku g restroom.
Note: restroom = washroom = toilet =)
So aku pn bukak la pintu restroom tu.
Main door la.
Restroom ni sederhana besar, ade tmpt cermin2 n ade a few toilets la kt dlm dia.
Tibe-tibe..
Jeng.. jeng.. jeng..
Bau...
Perghhh!
Punye la sdp.
Sdp as in sdp tau.
Bkn sedap as in wangi.
Teka ape yg aku nmpk?

Aku nmpk sorang kakak cuci toilet ni tgh duduk.
Bersandar kt slh satu pintu toilet.
Sambil mkn megi!
Eeeuuuuuuuwwwwww...
Disgusting gle!
Aku x sure la minah ni melayu ke indon.

So aku pn cm pk 2-3 kali nk masuk ke x restroom ni.
Rs bersalah jgk la nk gune toilet time org tgh mkn kt dlm tu.
Tp at the same time aku cm mls gle nkg restroom len.
Sume jauh.
Tetbe dia bersuara.

Masuk la.

Ta-pi, cm geli-geleman n gross gle mkn kt situ.
Dgn pintu toilet yg hampir sume terbukak.
Klu ye pn, mkn la kt koridor luar ke, kt tangga ke.
X de sape nk mrh.
Ishhh..
Aku pulak yg rs nk muntah.

hidung besar

2008-06-25T22:29:00.008+08:00

Semalam aku g amik gamba berukuran pasport.
Amik gamba untuk lapor diri jd tutor.
Aku dh dpt jd tutor.
Yay!
Pasni jgn tny bile aku nk keje ok.
Stress tau soalan tu.
Rasa cam x henti2 jd budak sekolah je.
So now aku dh ade keje.
Cuma amik cuti blaja je.
3 thn tu cuti.
Woot! Woot!
Ni la gamba dia.
Scroll sket..

Hahaha..
X bleh blah letak gamba passport dlm blog.
Cam putih gle je jd muke aku.
Org tu edit2 jd cerah smpi cenggini.
Pdhal x pn =p
Hilang sume jerawat2.
Hihihi..
Terserlah kebesaran hidung aku.
Besarkn hidung aku.
X pyh ckp tidak utk menyedapkn hati aku.

Time sekolah dulu dr form 1 smpi form 3 bdk2 suke ejek aku hidung besar.
Urgghhhhh…
Jht glekn derang.
Selambe je mempertikaikn ciptaan Allah.
Klu jeles kate je jeles.
Hihihi..
Hidung besar!!!!
Derang jerit dr jauh.
Nk tau ape yg aku jwb?

B**********BBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Haha..
Ye, itu aku.
Ko ejek from blok sn, aku jerit from blok sini.
Dulu aku ske je ckp lps mencarut2 sume.
Cm sekarang x je kn.
Kate sekolah luar.
Pegi sekolah pakai tudung, blk dh hilang tudung.
Pas masuk asrama br jd baik sket.
Mn x nye, bdk2 sume mengalahkn ustaz.
Dh kua br terserlah perangai sebenar.
Hehe..
Aku pn sm je.

Eh, eh tapi b*bi sejenis binatang je.

Dh la, x de motif entry ni.
Sj nk tunjuk gamba pasport br =p

~i want somebody to speed it up for me, then take it down slow

suck

2008-06-23T16:33:00.003+08:00

My love life sucks BIG time.
But I could still laugh like a mad.
Something must be terribly wrong with me.
Long distance relationship after marriage is soooo not me.

~my world is crushed and i'm all alone, the love bug crawls right back up and bites me and i'm back

special entry

2008-06-19T12:15:00.006+08:00

To make something special, you just have to believe it's special.

I believe this is a special entry, so I called it special entry.
You have to if you want to feel the speciality of this entry.
Haha..
I lurvvvv the quote so much!
Watched Kung Fu Panda with Miza yesterday.
And it was damn hilarious.
I'm not the type of person yang gelak cam nk mati ble tgk scene kelakar dlm muvi or pape la.
Yup, I'm that boring.
Tu sbb ms aku hangout kat midvalley and tgk faiz gelak aku tny jojoi mmg slalu ke faiz gelak cmtu.
Hehe.. X de kene-mengena.
But this movie had made me laugh my heart out!
The panda is so very cute!
I give 5 stars rating to Kung Fu Panda.
Kung Fu Panda - worth every penny.
Eh, not my penny, it was Miza's treat!

Nk tgk movie ni lagi!
Like she said,
Gelak ramai2 dlm cinema...
Priceless!

I want to buy a nice Guess sling bag that I saw in Jusco last few weeks. The price is 189. Murah kn? But the Jusco is located in Ipoh. Helpppp! Menyesal x beli hari tu. Dok terbayang-bayang je sling bag tu. But, but lagi. My bf's birthday is just around the corner and I want to get him a perfume because he's looking for one. Ta-pi xkn nk bli 2-2 skali. Klu x bli perfume bole la bli sling bag. Aaaaa.. Any suggestion for the perfume? I'm going for DKNY tp x tau la. Aku bkn reti sgt perfume ni n x ske sgt nk pakai. Kate semulajadi wangi. Hahahah..

~i'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you

ubat pensel tekan

2008-06-18T10:24:00.004+08:00

I was writing using my mechanical pencil when suddenly I realize that I'm running out of ubat pensel tekan.
I rummaged my bag and found the last piece but it fall onto the floor and I didn't know where the hell it exactly went.
Hampa!
I don't remember the last time I bought one pack of ubat pensel tekan for myself but I'm pretty sure it must have been long enough.
3-4 years perhaps?
Eh wait, is that the right way to spell pencil in Malay?
Pencil = pensel.
Ke pensil?
Oh god, what has gotten into me?
I can't even spell it right.

Have you ever heard of ubat pensel tekan term?
If you haven't, here it is.
Tadaaaaa...

dh habis :(

Yup, I always refer pencil lead as ubat pensel tekan.

Ko ade ubat pensel tekan x?
Ubat pensel tekan aku dh hbs.

Haha.. I know.
It's ridiculous to call it ubat pensel tekan when you can call it in short, lead!
Owh well, I'm used to it.
So don't you ever dare to change my terminology.
And, if I ever, I mean everrrrr ask for ubat pensel tekan from you, don't tell me that I haven't told you what it is.
And my favorite lead would always be buncho!

~but i don't care what they say, i'm in love with you, they try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth

vacations

2008-06-17T11:56:00.004+08:00

In this entry, I said that I want to go to PD the next day and Lumut and Pangkor during the weekend. And yes, I did! I could say, it was a fun week for me though the price of oil has been increased on the same week! I went to PD on Wednesday with my family, but sorry, no picture since all the pictures is in the other laptop of mine. And, and I could only upload a picture from the Pangkor visit. Gamba mandi-manda x pyh la ye. Sume sexy2 je. Kate mandi. Haruslah sexy. Hahahaha.. Tadaaaa..

This picture is taken using my camera phone on our way back to Lumut jetty. My digicam was broken! Masuk air while we were 'kayak'ing to the Coral Island! It was a fun vacation though. Spent 3 days, 2 nights at Pangkor Island or you can say 2 days sbb smpi on Friday tu pn dh late evening. Don't mind my skin color. I'm dark because I was too lazy to apply sunblock. Lengan tgn pn berbelang-belang.

The price of oil was increased on Wednesday or Thursday, I don't remember. And I drove all the way from KL to Lumut alone over the weekend. It was kinda insane I know, but I was too lazy to take the bus. Nk kene nek cab, komuter, lrt and whatnot. But the good thing was, the fuel was sponsored by mr. bf. Hehe.. So, it didn't really bother me. And lucky me, no love letters from mr. traffic police for driving like a maniac.

Argghhh.. What's wrong with me, update benda yg lama? Actually, I really want to write something but my idea dried up each time I start writing. Probably next time I write on something useful. Trust me. Hahaha..

I want to jog and burn all the fat but I left the track suit at home. Movie anyone? Sometimes I wish my bf works around KL. Why do I always create problem? Oh god, this is so random! Hahaha..

~it starts in my toes make me crinkle my nose, where ever it goes i always know

proposal daisakusen

2008-06-11T16:18:00.002+08:00

The person to marry is not the person you love most.
But instead the person you love second-most.

There are people who say this sort of thing and look pleased with themselves. But whether the person you're dating is the person you love second-most, who can figure that out? However, one thing is for certain when it comes to the partner you love the most in your life. When you decide to part with that person, exactly at that very moment, you realize it was that person you love the most. But it's already too late.

-proposal daisakusen-

loser

2008-06-10T12:26:00.005+08:00

Jam hampir menunjukkan pkl 8.30 pagi. Best btol weather pg td. Sejuk je. Sbb br lps hjn kot. Aku bkk tgkp kete utk menghirup udara yg segar. Alasan nk jimat minyak je tu. Hehe.. Sambil drive kete, aku dgr hot FM AM krew. And derang tgh discuss psl dilemma. Aku x tau la sape penyampai pompuan pg td. Yg pasti bkn Fara Fauzana. Teruk btol aku ni kn. Ske x amik tau mende2 cmni. Pdhal hari2 dgr. Dilemma, intereseting topic isn't it? Pastu ade this one girl tepon n kongsi cte dilemma dia. Kepada sesapa yg dgr radio pg td mesti dgr jgk ape yg aku nk comment ni.

Saya ade kenal 2 lelaki ni. Saya x tau nk pilih yg mn satu. Yg sorang ni sy dh kenal lm dh. Dh 5 thn. Sy syg sgt2 kt dia ni. Yg sorang lg sy br kenal. Tp dia syg sy sgt2.

Faizal,
Sy rs awk dh tau nk pilih siapa. Yg second tu syg awk sgt2 tp awk x syg kt dia ke?

2-2 saya syg. Sy serba slh la. Yg kenal lm tu sy lebih syg la sbb dh kenal lm. Yg baru kenal ni ckp klu sy tinggalkn dia, dia nk bunuh diri.

Penyampai pompuan,
Sy rs awk dh ade jwpan dia la. Klu sy dh lm sy tgglkn org yg psycho2 ni.

Bunuh diri? What the hell la kn? Loser gle lelaki cmni. Cm la x de pompuan len kt dunia ni. Memula aku cm x caya jgk la ade lelaki yg sanggup ckp nk bunuh diri, tp aku dh jumpe a few. And seriously aku menyampah gle dgr. Confirm reject! Mcm x de maruah, x de pendirian, and x de agama je nk ckp cmtu kan. Tp mostly ckp je, buat x pn. Tp tah la, serious bunyi cam loser. A woman doesn't need a loser in her life.

It's true, pompuan suke lelaki yg willing to do anything for her. Mcm sweet la kn. Tp klu smpi ckp nk bunuh diri, that's so stupid! To be honest, klu lelaki nk tgglkn aku, x de ms la aku nk ckp nk bunuh diri sume. Move on, that's the best thing! Bunga bkn sekuntum, kumbang bukan seekor. Stop making a fool of yourself. Ish, emo pulak! Sbb aku series benci la dgr lelaki ckp nk mati ke, nk bunuh diri ke sbb pompuan. Bole, bole, bole. Bole blah!

do the math

2008-06-05T14:58:00.004+08:00

Simple math.
But is does proves something.
Something really stupid!

genting highlands

2008-06-03T11:09:00.003+08:00

At first we thought of going to PD but since it's already 12 at noon on beautiful Saturday, we decided to go to Genting Highlands instead. Well, maybe tomorrow I'll go to PD. And owh, Lumut and Pangkor over the weekend. Seriesly cm org x de keje kn?

There were four of us. My sister, my cousin, my brother, and me. My sister drove her Satria. It has been like forever since I last went to the outdoor park, Genting Highlands. We didn't go to the indoor park as it was very crowded and I couldn’t stand that kind of environment except for concerts. Hehe.. The fee for the outdoor park is quite cheap compared to the fee you have to pay for theme parks back in States. RM38 for adults, RM27 for children. Well, it suited the theme park. Genting Theme Park doesn't offer much rides. But it's worth the money though it was raining cats and dogs when we arrived. The cool mountain air is always refreshing. Plus, I didn't play the rides pn. Nnt confirm pening n muntah. Saje pegi nk teman budak2 g jln. Good excuse eh? Hehe..

Enjoy the piccas!

Exit 803A - Genting Sempah

yed, me n syapika (bkn ejaan sebenar)

yed was helping iqa to fasten the belt

spinner yg memeningkan. tgk je dh pening

with syed on carousel

x yah g london pn ade tepon cmni. hehe..

london konon2

all time favorite fast food

eye on genting =p

syed and shafiqah boating at dinosaur land

me and kakak boating jgk

jambatan gantung. no?

mainan bdk2 yg nmpk best

yed drove the antic car

OMG! Terbanyak pulak upload gamba =p

handphone

2008-05-28T17:10:00.005+08:00

Flip handphone nampak cool.
Slide handphone nampak smart.
White handphone nampak lawa.
But lesson learnt from my own experience plus my best bud's experience.
Flip and slide handphone senang rosak.
White handphone cpt nmpk buruk.
Erkkk?
Ye ke?
Ke kitorang je yg x reti jaga handphone?
Bagaimana dgn anda?
I ended up bought just a simple handphone.
Tadaaaa.....

K660i
Cute kn?
Hehe..
Original tau ni.
Nk bli K810i, sama cam kakak aku lak.
Nk bli K800i, gabak sgt.
Poket jeans slalu ketat susah nk masuk.
Nk bli K770i, tade black plus x lawa sgt.
So beli la K660i kt Sungai Wang last Friday.
Harga: RM1000-RM50.
Hehe..
I lurv it!
Bole mp4 sume.
Tp camera je 2 megapixel.
Tp bak kate org, amik gamba gune digi cam la.
Lawa kn? Lawa kn?
Bli gune duit sendiri tau!
I may not get what you've got, but I'm happy with what I've got.

fooling around

2008-05-22T15:28:00.008+08:00

Credit to sparklett.net

My weekend was a total blast. I got to spend the whole weekend with my bf. From Friday till Monday. Everything is rainbows and sweet candies and chocolatey. Owh, owh and cheesy too =p. Dkt2 ni x de la plk nk gaduh x tentu psl. Klu jauh asik nk bergaduh and mengamuk je sbb rindu. Hahaha.. He arrived at UPM on Friday around 10pm and we went to eat dinner at our favourite place.

Bought a wedding pressie at Jusco on Saturday. As we were on our tight budget, we could only afford to buy a sandwich maker. Eh, sape kate sandwich maker murah? Ade brand tau. Hehe.. Then, drove straight to JB. Got to spend our night at Danga Bay. I love JB so much. I don't know why. Probably because I have too many happy memories over there. And yes, I heart Pasir Gudang as much as I heart JB. You must be laughing to hear this but it's one of the places where I feel free and happy and everything seems to be bright and yes, it's the place where I started to get my life back after one bummer incident happened. And till now I still couldn't get it rid out of my mind.

The next day, we went to Batu Pahat to attend my bf's adik angktnye wedding. Guess what, after menahan lapa selama beberapa hr, aku dh bleh pakai baju kebaya lama tu. Tp hr tu je la. After that day I ate like a pig. Owh, owh.. Let's make it like a bear ke, a tiger ke. Hehe.. My bf was like,

Nk lepas dendam la tu.

The wedding was ok and it was the first time I got to meet her. She's small, well about the same height as me but thinner. Cute sgt! Jeles je tgk dia borak2 ngn bf aku but what the heck kan, it was her wedding after all. Hello, she's married! Apesal plk nk jeles2. And her husband looks almost similar to my bf and I wonder why she doesn't get married to my bf instead. Haha.. Gle! Tp tertanya-tanya dlm hati je la. Xkn aku nk tny bf aku plk. Kang x psl2 dia bkk cte lm aku jgk yg tension nnt. So, bek aku dok diam2 je.

We went back to KL straight after the wedding and spent Monday by watching What Happens In Vegas at Jusco. After that we went to Alamanda and just sit around wasting time at Putrajaya. We ate dinner at Chop and Steak together with my eldest sister and brother and dah, he went back to Lumut.

Told ya, I had an interview for the tutor position on Tuesday rite? I met Firza, he was also in for the interview but for tutor position for different engineering department. He is at the same age.

Dpt full recommendation from department kn?
Aah, dh jumpe KJ and dean. Kenal dean x? Dr. Saleh.

Aku cm terpinga-pinga je time ni. Yg mn satu eh? Pastu tah kenp dgn confidentnye aku jwb.

Hmm.. Kenal

Skali tetbe there is this one guy coming in tanya tunggu interview ke ape. And he was like

Siti Hajar?
Yup.

I ended up chatting with this fellow guy for like 15 minutes. Ble mamat nih blah je aku tny Firza.

Sapa 2?
Dean, Dr. Saleh.

And muke aku dh merah pdm dh. Gilos! Td ngaku kenal. Bole plk tny. Sure dlm hati mamat ni ckp perempuan ni td confident je cm kenal rupenye x kenal. Haha.. Peduli ape aku kn. Aren't we all suppose to be confident when it comes to an interview?

I was a complete fool in the interview room. Jwb tah pape je cm bdk2. Pdhal soalan sng gle. Tetbe masuk dlm bilik tu lupe sume bende yg aku hapal. Haha.. There were 5 interviewers overall and one of the questions was,

Why don't you continue your studies at Vanderbilt?

And I was like,

Because my mother wants me to continue my studies at local university.

And the whole meeting room burst into laugher like no other. Haha.. Honest gle kn. Jwpan x concrete lak tu. Pastu aku tambah la sbb UPM pn international uni gk plus it's one of the leading research universities. Byk lg la soalan yg aku jwb dgn bodohnye. Lantak la, klu dpt rezeki la tu. Klu x dpt, maybe Allah has better plan for me. Aku sendiri pn x tau decision aku nk jd tutor ni btol ke x kn, if you guys been keeping up with my blog la. So kirenye klu dpt tu maknanye Allah permudahkn, klu x dpt tu maknanye, Allah x kasi la aku ngn UPM ni. Phm x? Hehe..

Dah. Tu je updates for now. I'm going back home today. Yipppppeeee! And am going back to Perak tomorrow to attend my cousin's wedding. Dia dh la laki, sm umur ngn aku. Nk kawen lg dulu dari aku lak tu. Ngade btol. Byk btol org nk kawen, nyampah! Hahaa.. Ttbe je kn. I'll be back in UPM on Tuesday and maybe x update sampai blk UPM la. Don't miss me k?

Owh, owh.. I plan to buy a new handphone this weekend. Tp x la yg mahal2. Around one thousand je. Bli mahal pn x gune. Aku clumsy and hp slalu jatuh. Ade recommendation ke? Aku sms jojoi smlm dia x reply pn. Dang!! Jht gle. Pukoi nk? Haha.. Ade lg satu nk gtau. Skrg ni I dh pakai line. No more topup2. Kelasss gitu! Haha.. Pdhal org len dh lm gune line.

Have a nice weekend peeps!

~it's not what it seems, not what you think, no i must be dreaming, it's only in my mind

rama-rama dalam perut

2008-05-16T14:06:00.009+08:00

Semalam, ye semalam adalah hari yg sgt panas. Aku melakukan satu perbuatan yg sgt bijak iaitu park kereta kt foyer fakulti. Dh panas2 cm2 sape yg sanggup nk jln. Alaa.. Kjp je pn. Nkg tgkt 6 fotostat and masukkn something dlm pigeon hole. Pastu nk pegi jumpe ketua jabatan or KJ food engineering. Unfortunately KJ x de so tunggu la kjp kt situ. Entah kenp rs x sdp hati je sbb park kereta kt foyer so aku turun la ke bwh nk alihkn kereta. Tau ape yg aku nmpk dr jauh? Kertas kuning kt bwh viper. Hah! Nk tau ape yg dia tulis?

Kereta anda telah dikunci. Anda park kete kt kawasan yg salah. Sila jumpa bla bla bla..

Lebih kurang cmtu la ayat dia. Perut aku dh penuh rama-rama dh. Kunci? Mn kunci? Aku tawaf satu kete tp x nmpk kunci pn. Slalunye klu dia kunci kt tayar tu mesti ade rantai besi yg besa. Bknnye aku x penah nmpk pak guard fakulti kunci kereta org2 yg parking bersepah. Scary jgk la. Aku pn bertanya soalan bodoh kepada diri sendiri. Dh ade cara br clamp kereta ke? X pyh gune kunci or anything. Jampi je. Ke kunci tersorok? Hehe.. So aku msk kereta and try start enjin n jengjengjeng...
*drum roll*

Kereta aku berjalan seperti biasa. Hah! Nasib bek. Ingtkn x leh gerak dh. Ape lg, pecut la kete tu meninggalkn foyer yg mcm bgs tu. Mesti pak guard tu ltk notis dulu and pegi amik kunci kt pondok guard. Skali blk hampa tgk kete dh x de. Padan muke dia! Ade hati nk kunci kete aku eh *grin*

Semalam jgk, aku terime phone call dr pendaftar UPM. Suh aku dtg interview utk tutor tu Selasa nnt. Haih! Satu hal lg. 2 bende yg aku paling x ske ialah interview and presentation. Aku mmg loser gle benda2 cmni. Br terima phone call pn aku dh dpt rs rama-rama dlm perut. Ni blm msk interview lg. Confirm sakit perut segala. Doakan aku eh? I'm sure you will sbb korang sume sayang aku. Kan? Kan? Kan? Ckp la kan.. =)

Semalam lagik, aku ganti Syafik ajar tuition kt putrajaya from 8-10pm sbb dia ade hal. Selambe je aku pakai jeans n t-shirt duduk dlm class tu tunggu bdk2 dtg. Pastu terdengar la suara-suara sumbang.

Eh, cikgu x dtg lg ke?

Derang x tau aku yg kene mengajar. See, aku nmpk cm dak form 4 kn. Hehe.. Ajar physics ngn add math. Eh, eh.. Sejak ble aku terer physics ngn add math ni? Haha.. Rama-rama lagi! Memule je la. Tp ble dh ajar seronok plk. Dak2 tu panggil aku cikgu lg. Hehehehe.. Tersenyum lebar. 1st time org panggil aku cikgu. Siap suruh aku ngaja terus lg.

Cikgu ajar la terus add math ye. Cikgu ajar phm. Cikgu Syafik ajar x phm. Dia masuk ks latihan suh buat je. X phm.

Aku hanya mampu tersenyum sambil berkata,

Mn bole. Sy cikgu ganti je.

Ish, jgn Syafik bc dh la. Bdk2 zaman skrg ni. Cmne la ilmu tu nk masuk. Pandai pulak kondem2 cikgu. Mcm bagus kn ayat aku. Pastu time nk blk org tuition tu ckp kt aku.

Cikgu ajar English form 4 nk?

Huh? Mcm tnk je. Grammar terabur sume nk ajar bdk2. Dh la ade sastera sume. Nnt aku plk yg tertdo sambil mengaja. Bole? Tp klu derang offer ajar math, dataran merdeka aku tadahkn. Hehe..

Itu jelh cte semlm. Cte rama-rama dlm perut tp tetap happy dan tersenyum smpi hr ni. Untuk cikgu-cikgu kt luar sana,

Tanpa mereka siapalah kita.

~did you think i'd crumble, did you think i'd lay down and die

gemok

2008-05-13T11:47:00.010+08:00

It has been a while kn? A while since I last jot down something in this blog. Bkn tnk update, x de idea. Asal nk update je tade idea, asal tade idea je nk update. Klu ade idea pn, x terluah pulak apa yg nk ditulis.

Life has been good lately, I guess. Kadang2 je bosan. Mood mcm biasa la, kdg2 moody kadang2 ok. At one point rs mcm mls je nk berckp ngn org keliling nih. Some days are good days, some days are bad days. Tah la. Sometimes the only people who really make me happy are pak guard-pak guard or abg guard or whatever you called it kat engineering faculty ni yg sgt murah dgn senyuman dan lambaian manje each time I drive through the faculty entrance. Haha.. Pathetic gle kn? Ok la tu (sila sebut ala-ala saida sambil buat gaya skali ye). Sejak tgk trek selebriti pasal saida tu, asik nk terikut2 je ok la tu dia. Ade one time ni kakak aku nk bli sluar kt Jusco. Punye la byk dia try and last2 tny idea aku. Aku yg dh bosan menunggu ni ape lagi

~Ok la tu

sambil tunjuk jari n gelek2 cm saida. Cam nak mati je kakak aku bantai gelak. Menyampah!

I'm looking forward for this weekend. Nk jumpe chenta hatiku. Hihi.. Dh lebih sebulan x jumpe nih. Nm je duduk dlm 1 negara. Tp punye la mls nk travel utk jumpe. Fine la, aku yg mls nk pegi sn. Ske je tgg dia dtg amik. Planning nk attend wedding kt Batu Pahat. Adik angkt dia kawen. Mengade gle kn? Dh ade gf pn nk berangkat2 lg. Pulak tu selambe pakse2 pegi jgk. Seb bek nk attend wedding. Klu nk jmpe sesj je jgn harap la aku nk kasi. Sket2 cte psl adik angkt dia. Adik angkt dia tu la, adik angkt dia ni la. Rpt gle lak tu ngn family adik angkt dia. Bengang je dgr dia cte. Tp wt2 cool la kn. Wt2 cm x jeles je. Hehe..

Aku bercadang nk pki baju kebaya yg cm dh lm x dipakai time g wedding nnt. So smlm try la bj ni. Ketat gle! Urghhhhh.. Series aku dh gemok. Gemok. Dh la x bwk bj len. Bj kurung sume tggl kt rmh. Xkn nk blk rmh semata-mata nk amik bj je. Nnt mak aku kate mengade-ngade plk. So aku membuat keputusan utk x mkn smpi hari ahad ni. Beauty hurts kn. Confirm comel la hari ahad nnt. Haha.. Sile muntah beramai-ramai.

What? Hjr x mkn? Mule la nk mengamuk-ngamuk nnt klu lapa. Nk mkn buah je. Bole? Agak-agak mkn buah je bole kenyang x? So sesp yg bercadang nk belanja aku mkn minggu ni tu simpan2 je la duit tu eh sampai minggu depan br aku mkn secara besar-besaran. Haha.. Tgk la smpi ble aku tahan. Tah2 ptg ni dh gelabah cari nasik.

Hp aku cm dh gle sket skrg ni. Signal receiver dia dh weak, so slalu tade line. Don't bother to call me or text me k. Let me live in my own sweet world. Cm ade je org nk call aku kn. Perasan. Hehe.. Klu urgent sgt call je rmh ckp trus ngn mak aku eh sbb aku x blk rmh till 2 minggu lg.

Dh. Sebelum aku mengarut dgn lebih tah pape lg, bek stop kt sini.Daaaaa~

~i've got a boyfriend now, he's my dearest pal, he'll always catch me when i fall, he's always there when i call

do you know?

2008-05-07T12:04:00.004+08:00

Do you know that distilled water is pH 7.0 only in theory?
Distilled water has virtually all of its impurtities removed through distillation.
Distillation involves boiling the water and then condensing the steam into a clean container, leaving nearly all of the solid contaminants behind.
So it should be pH7.0 because it's consider neutral.

However, in reality distilled water will have a pH that is slightly acidic (less than 7.0).
Why is it not pH7.0 in reality?
Even freshly distilled water picks up CO2 from the atmosphere and becomes acidic.

queen of clumsy

2008-04-29T13:24:00.003+08:00

Guess what happened few minutes ago?
I accidentally hit a car!
Fine la, fine la salah aku.
Reverse kete, rs cm dh tgk hbs dh blkg.
Tp x prasan plk ade lg 1 kete.
Tau2 je la jln kt Serdang tu.
Sempit cam tah pape.
Tambah2 lg kt padang tu.
Kete toksah ckp la.
Byk cam hape.
Tp sbb mkn kt situ cm murah, so pegi la situ ngn miza.
Dgn duit fellowship yg x masuk2 lg tu.
I wonder why.
Slalunye by 29th dh msk.
Bln ni mmg btol2 sengkek.
Kt mn pegi duit aku eh?
Owh ye, aku ks org pnjm hr 2.
Baikkn aku.
Diri sendiri x cukup p kasi org pnjm plk.
Baik la sgt!

Guess kete ape yg aku langgar?
It was a bloody Mercs!
M.E.R.C.S.
The owner was a Chinese guy.
Sebaya cam abah kot.
Siap turun kua kete lg tgk kete dia.
So, I parked my car.
By the time I came out from my car, dia msk kete n jln.
Ingtkn dh ok dh.
So aku reverse blk kua parking.
Skali tgk mamat tu g park kete dia, turun lg skali.
Sbb lack of parking space, I stopped my car at the back of his car.
Dia kua lagi, usha2 kete dia.
Nmpk cam bercalar la.
Tp not sure whether I was the one who cause that.
X sempat nk turun kete, mamat tu lambai2.
Mcm dia ckp x de pape la kot.
I was relief, drove my car back to the faculty.

Ade calarkn kete dia td? Hajar ke yg buat eh?
X tau la. Tah2 dh ade lm ke. X pe, cina tu kaya.
Yelh. Tp rs berslh.
Tp betol ke hjr yg wt calar tu?
Jpg kte check. Klu kete hjr ok je, means kete dia x de pape la. Kn mercs tu.

Kt faculty, stopped n check kete ngn miza.
Aaaaaaaaa...
Bercalar la.
Besar tapak tgn.
Sah2 aku wt kete dia calar td.
Tp ye ke?
Tah2 cat kete aku je kot yg melekat kt kete dia.
Rs bersalah gle!
I called my bf, told him everything.

Org rs berslh la.
Ala.. dia x suh byr tu. Wt cam biase je dh la.
Tp tetap rs bersalah.
Dh tu nkg cr org tu?
X la. Haha..

Gle ape nkg mencari.
Satu keje.
Seb bek org tu x mrh.
Miza ckp sbb tgk kte cm bdk2 kot.
Aku ckp, aah kot, dgn kad matrix tergantung lg.
Klu x.
Perghhhh…
Mn aku nk korek duit byr.

Lesson learnt!
Berhati2 ble mereverse kete..
Jgn clumsy2 lg.

craving

2008-04-23T21:53:00.005+08:00

Presenting to you the apple of my eye.

haris lurvs me

Haris haris haris
I'm craving for haris, my soon to be nephew.
Hehe..
Gle perasan.
Desktop background and even hpnye wallpaper pn aku letak gamba haris.
Btol2 addicted nih.
I couldn't stop saying his name over and over again since Saturday.
I think I'm in love with this little guy.
Yeah, I fall in love with haris the first time I saw him.
He is only 3 years old.
Cute in his own way, loveable, kissable, and huggable.
Just couldn't take my eyes off him.
Why?
He likes to smile, I mean.. always smiling!
And when I fall in love with a person, I first fall in love with his smile, always!
So if you're a guy and you think that you have the sweetest smile ever, plz, plz, plz, plz don't smile in front of me.
Or else we both will be in trouble.
Heeeeeeee...

~smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you near to me

heart explosion

2008-04-22T11:53:00.004+08:00

From the previous entry, I said that I don't care about what I'll be in the future. As long as I got to be with him. Dah, that'll be all. But now I start to think oppositely. Why can't we get all the things that we want? Why do we have to choose between two? Why do we have to sacrifice something in order to get something else that we desire?

The thing is, I got this one tutorship offer. And since they offer scholarship together with the tutorship, of course it'll involve bond to work at UPM after I finish my study. So, that's the problem. I've been applying for tutorship since the first day I stepped my feet at this university and this is my second time applying for it. So you should know that this job is my passion.

But only now I get it and I have to let it go because of the thing so called love? It's true, I've plan something for my future. My lips said that I definitely will not accept this offer but honestly my heart refused to reject it and still am.

He said sorry for I have to reject it because of him. I said it's ok, I can find another job in the future. But my heart was hoping for him to say you should accept the offer. I don't know why I said something that my heart disapproves of and now the heart is exploding. Hish!

Hati aku marah.
Tp sapelh aku utk marah ble mulut mengiakn.
Aku tau dia tau aku marah.
Bile msg2 yg aku htr kt dia x sehappy dulu.
Tp dia tetap mcm tu.
Still menghtr msg2 utk menghappykn aku.
Still tetap dgn keputusan yg dh dibuat.
Kdg2 aku rs bgs jgk dia bertindak mcm 2.
Sekurang-kurangnye aku x confuse dgn keputusan yg dh didecide.
Owh, wake up!

Yelh ye, my job opportunity is everywhere. But him? Ok, let's think back rationally. Me – ambition: lecturer. Him – ambition: surveyor. There are hundreds of universities out there, so I think should be no problem for me to find job in the future. But him with the marine engineering dip I'm pretty sure he can only be surveyor close by the sea. Sea around KL? Nahhh..

Dah, it has been decided! I'll reject the offer. And we'll live happily ever after. Cheesy huh!

~sabarlh wahai hati

screw the work!

2008-04-11T15:38:00.000+08:00

I've got tonnes of work waiting for me.
But yet I still want to blog?
Owh well, screw the work.
I've to present my progress report next week so kind of busy.
Procrastination is my habit since ages but I still can survive till now =).

I can't wait to finish up all those tedious work.
Tp camne nk siap klu time wt keje sket je ade org panggil suh wt 2 la, wt ni la.
Ko ingat aku x de keje len ke?
Haih!

Right now all I want is to finish up my research a.s.a.p.
Then I can go pack and work at Boustead.
Why Boustead?
My bf is working over there.
Haha..
Blaja byk2 last2 nk keje engineer plk kt situ.
Klu x pn jd lecturer kt utp ke.
Aren't I cared what I want to be in the future you ask?
I just want to be with the person I love.
That's all.
I guess this is what happens when you start to love a person.
You just don't care about what you want to be.
Jd la pape as long as i got to be with him.
Durhh, at least for me yg idiot la..
X kesah la jd pape.
Sambung post-doc pn best jgk.
Ececece..
Hjr ni ckp cm esk lusa je keje nk hbs.
Berangan lg!
Dah, I'm off to lab!

~cos if i got u, i don't need money, i don't need cars

will you marry me?

2008-04-03T11:38:00.005+08:00

Kawen dgn aku nk?
Hehe.. Ye la 2.
Ko ingt aku men2 ke?
Ko ajk aku kawen ni duit dh cukup ke blm?
Sbb dh cukup la aku berani ajk ko kawen. Tp nnt sian kt bf ko kn.
Haaa.. Tau x pe. Ko pinang pompuan len je la.
Aku sibuk la. Nk mengorat pn x de ms.
Nk ngorat pn x de ms ade hati nk kawen.
Kawen len la.

That's what he just said. I know him when I was in Standard 6. If you've been keeping up with my blog since last year, u might remember him from an entry with a title love. I don't mean to jog your memory. And you don't have to dig up old entries. Hilarious, isn't it? I haven't met him for like 9 years. But this is what life is all about. You don't know where life will bring you to. You might have a relationship with someone else, but end up marrying someone else. The next thing you know is that it's just happen =). One thing for sure, don't regret the past. Coz you can't never measure the value of experience.

~think of love as wings, not a ball and chain, and your fear of things unnecessary

2nd april fool

2008-04-02T15:00:00.001+08:00

I remember having 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on April fool day when I was a kid.
I remember doing stupid tricks to my friends and even my mom on April.

One thing for sure, I don't have to wait till 1st April to be fooled by people around me.
I'm a straight kinda person and that I always believe almost everything that I was told.
Not straight as in heterosexual but straight as in straight.
I mean, of course I'm a heterosexual =p.
I believed that this one car can change into a ship when it goes into the sea.
I did believe that two elderly couples sleep in one bed together from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory movie is actually stick together in a weird way!
How foolish I am.

I don't have to wait till 1st April to be fooled by people around me.
And you don't have to wait for 1st April to fool me!

~there can be miracles, when you believe, though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

sombong!

2008-03-31T22:30:00.003+08:00

I just come back from the library.
And I am still angry with one of those arrogant librarians.
In UPM's library we do have a separate room where the library keeps a collection of theses and dissertations.
And we couldn't bring the collection outside the room.
We can only borrow it for 2 hours the most and read it inside the room.
This room is one of my favorite spots in the library.
Before this, each time we want to read any thesis or dissertation from the shelf, we pick it up, send it to the counter to scan and walla, the thesis is ours for 2 hours.
But then they added this one new rule.
We need to get 2 'kad penanda' from the counter, one for us to keep and one to leave at the shelf, marking that someone is reading the thesis.
Seriously, I didn't know that they just add new rule.
So as usual, I took my favourite thesis to the counter waited for the librarian to scan my matrix card along with the thesis.

And the story began here.

Mana kad penanda?
Huh? Kad penanda ape?
Awak men pnjm je eh? X tgk peraturan tampal kt dinding tu?
Peraturan ape?
Awak pegi bc dulu.

So, I went to read.

Dh bc?
Dh. Kt mn kad penanda?

And he pointed me where it is. I picked the card and showed to him.

Pastu? Awak bc ke tidak ni? Ape dia tulis kt situ - Dengan nada yg sgt ksr.
Huh letak 1 kt shelf.

God!
I hate that pakcik!
Tnk panggil dia abg.
Sombong nk mampos.
Wouldn't it be easier if he could tell me straight the procedure instead of making me read it on the wall?
Sibuk je surf internet.
So stupid and sgt sombong!
Where is the hospitality?
Klu ye pn, ckp la bek2 kn.
Huh!
I still can't get rid of his stupid face out of my mind!

~are you stuck inside a world you hate, are you sick of everyone around

a little camel story

2008-03-27T16:11:00.009+08:00

Moral of the story:

super-heroin?

2008-03-21T12:08:00.005+08:00

Hah!
I was tagged again, this time by along!
Cis!
Ajat tag along, along x mo wt ye.
Tgk ni ajat wt je.
So here it goes..

Apa superpower idaman anda? Sila pilih satu!

Hmmm..
Hmm..
Along nk jadi The Haitian to wipe out memory, so x pyh la aku jadik Haitian gk kn. Panggil je along, gerenti lupe segale susah, payah, sedih, hiba, duke. Tp wt masa ni masih x memerlukn khidmat along lagi. Cik Stobery plk nk jd Hiro Nakamura, so bleh tlg aku klu nk kembali ke ms silam. Tp cm x nk je.. Happy je hari2 =)

I know, I know! I would love to have alchemical power. Alchemy ni ala2 equivalent exchange la.
Alchemy power ni cam three-step processes which are:
1 – Analysis
2 - Destruction/decomposition
3 - Reconstruction/recomposition

Fine la, fine la.
Aku terangkn sket.
Analysis tu cm memahami structure and properties substance yg nk di transmuted-kn.
Destruction plk cmne nk break substance tu down to its rudimentary properties.
Reconstruction plk sume org tau la kn, to rebuild the substance into another form or with different properties.

Siapa superhero atau watak yang mempengaruhi pilihan itu?

Laa.. Ape punye soalan ni.
Obviously Edward and Alphonse Elric dari cte manga fullmetal alchemist 2 kn.

God! I love this anime.
Sgt cool!
And slalu berangan-angan nk ade power cm dia time tgk cte ni.
Best gle!

Kenapa atau untuk apa superpower itu yang anda pilih?

Wah, wah..
Lagi mau tny.
Of course la utk transmute bende2 yg aku x ske jd bende2 yg aku ske kn.
Silap2 org yg aku x ske pn aku leh transmute jd org yg aku ske tau.
Argghhh..
Bestnye!
X yah bli baju or kasut or jam or pape jelh byk2.
Transmute je hr2.
So cm hr2 aku pki baju br, kasut br, jam br.
Hehe..
X pn klu mkn ns grg kt kedai tu x sedap ke, transmute je jd pizza ke, big mac ke..
Hoho..
Cmni x yah ade duit pn x pe =)

X pn, transmute je precursor kt lab tu, trus jd titanium dioxide nanoparticles.
X yah aku bekerje keras kt lab wt particles ni.
Sng keje aku!
Cmni esk lusa pn leh dpt PhD ni.
Hehe..

Nama anda sebagai hero?

Ajat alchemist, bleh?

Kelemahan superpower anda? Wajib ada!

Hmm..
Alchemy ni ade taboo dia tau.
For example, human transmutation, which usually comes with a punishment.
Edward and Alphonse attempt to return their mother back to life.
Tp kene punished losing Al's body and Ed's leg.
Uishhh..
X mo la..
Kang x psl2 aku hlg kaki tangan pulak.
Jgn, jgn wt human transmutation.
Nnt jd homunculus.
Wt kt mende2 je.

Motto anda sebagai superhero?

Ish..
Mengade btol la!
Ape nk motto2 lak ni.
Super power pn nk kene ade motto ke.
Hmm..

Alchemy for life!

Haha..
Lame gle.

Sebarkan tag ini kepada 10 rakan yang lain. Kalau tak mampu, 5 pun ok.

5 sudah. Ks can kt derang tag org len.
Jojoe
Irwan
Daia
Nabilah
Jurai

Dh la..
Sdp je dak hjr ni g wt tag-tag plk.
Keje byk x sedar diri.
Happy weekend guys!
Byebye!

~ above the world oh so high, you sparkle and shine, alone with nowhere to hide, oh heavenly sky

jgn ade benci

2008-03-19T17:15:00.003+08:00

First thing first, this entry got nothing to do with the picture. Gambar ini hanyalah hiasan semata-mata.

Busy, busy, busy. That's the word that best explained me right now. Free time is only after 6. My supervisor is going to the States and she asked me to send few letters here and there. Feel like I am a 'minah despatch' these days. Substituting nabil si raja lawak maybe? But instead of sending letters using motorcycle, I used my legs. Walk, walk, walk, walk till the end of the road. Lucky I could still manage to walk and the distance isn't that far. If not, I'll claim for car fuel. It's tiring but I see it as a good exercise. Yeah, right =p! It was raining this afternoon so I was all wet because I took shortcut. Thank you weather. It comes with a complete package with flu. Benci!

Other than busy being a 'minah despatch' I also busy with my lab work. Had prepared few samples. Yesterday, I spilt 10 molar hydrochloric acid under fume hood and obviously I couldn't think sraight after that incident. Darn it! Because of that, instead of adding 1% ferric nitrate to the solution, I mistakenly added 2% of it. It takes me almost 2 days to prepare a sample and now I have to do it again. Benci, benci lagi!

Tomorrow will be maulidur-rasul. Another holiday. I know I shouldn't go back home, it's only a one day cuti but I really want to. Probably I'm going back at 530 today. I could ponteng this Friday but yet I've to teach Math 2 on Friday, so have to come no matter what. Laplace, heat equation, wave equation, separation method, numerical solution. They are not easy. Yeah, I haven't tell you that I'm teaching again starting in the middle of this semester, substituting Wan Ibrahim, the former tutor that has taken his holiday to continue his studies oversea. I love teaching but this course is just plain hard! Triple benci!

Goodbye!

~the party won't start, if you stand still like that

heaven

2008-03-13T14:23:00.000+08:00

I'm craving for new york super fudge chunk by Ben and Jerry's.
Do they sell it here?
It used to be my all time favorite ice-cream back in States.
A combination of chocolate ice cream, white chocolate, semisweet chocolate, pecans, walnuts, chocolate-covered almonds - how can you not love this ice-cream.
Very chunky!
An ice-cream i'll die for.
Heaven!

~your love is better than ice cream, better than anything else that i've tried

the beauty of life

2008-03-10T16:32:00.006+08:00

I had a nice weekend.
Real nice!
Went to MMU on Friday to attend the charity event for click a child.
Well, to me the event is more to concert.
For the first time, I met Along, my blogger click since ages.
Ages la sgt kn!
Jgk dpt berkenalan dgn Cik Stobery, kwn seUPM yang bernama Cik Jasmin, n En Yazid klu x silap.
Tunggu Along dkt 45mins kt tepi jalan tu.
Ye ye ckp get ready dh nk smpi skali x muncul2 jgk.
Punye la beria-ia tolak gear ke drive, tarik handbreak, switch on lampu.
Ingt nmpk je 710 trus nk pecut.
But, I don't mind waiting cause it worth the wait.
Plus the backstage pass.
Event tu pn br start je ble kitorang smpi.

One night, one place, one reason!
Conclusion yg dpt dibuat the event was successful though I was expecting for free standing event rather than free sitting.
Congrats Irene, the Director for the event.

Perasaan first time masuk dlm hall tu.
What?
Kene duduk ke?
Owh, well.
It was a charity event, what should I expect kn?
Ada OAG, Hujan, News@11, Akustika, Yuna, Couple, Radiostar, Bittersweet, Siarra n Meet Uncle Hussain.
Bnyk band yg aku x tau pn.
Yang tau pn cam OAG, Hujan ngn Meet Uncle Hussain je.
Plus senarnye dtg nk tgk Hujan perform je.

with alan - meet uncle hussain
with yuna

Ta-pi..
Ta-pi..
My whole life came crashing lonely, I'm so lonely.
Haha..
Merepek g lagu lonely jp.
My dreams to see Hujan perform x kesampaian.
Terpakse blk sbb my bf was already waiting for me somewhere in Serdang.
Pergh.. Klu x mesti best gle.
Tp nk wt cmnekn.
Mamat 2 dh smpi Gombak je sound aku kt sms.
Aku leh plk wt2 bodo..
½ jam nk smpi msg blk eh.
Ko ingt dia nek kure2 ke hajar?
Gombak 2 dkt nk smpi la.
Smpi la ble dia ckp nk smpi dh.
Br la rushing segale..
Tgk jam, lajunye dia nih bwk.
1145 dh nk smpi.
Asl x bwk slow2.
Kol doblas lebey smpi ke, smpt tgk hujan
Sesat summore kt dlm MMU.
Bad choice, aku call bf aku ckp sesat.
Cm la dia pnah pegi MMU.
Tapi x la bad sgt pn.
Good food for soul.
He knows how to calm me down.
Pephm je la aku yg gelabah ni.
Last2 terpakse wt2 comel tny kt pak guard MMU tu.

Argghh..
I love hujan.
But, I love my bf too.
Terpaksa membuat pilihan antara dua.
Haha..
Gle la klu bf aku bc ni.
Of course la, I would choose my bf kn.
Lg pn, Noh dh ade awek.
Hehe..

Let me just leave you with this thought.
You love Hujan, but have they ever loved you back?

Tiru ayat fever pitch kjp.

There's a bright little boy in the movie who says to Ben, "Let me just leave you with this thought. You love the Sox, but have they ever loved you back?"

Mesti korang rs nk muntah je bc kn.
Peduli ape aku nk tulis ape kt blog sendiri.
Klu x ske g wt blog sendiri la.

But~
Ade ta-pi lagi..
With the backstage pass..
Sempat bergamba dgn Noh yg comel.

with noh ^_^

That's the whole purpose for attending the event pn.
For me la kn..
Man, sgt comel!
Aku ngn along asik repeat bende yg sm je.
Comel!

I was super-excited.
I told my bf.
X smpt nk tgk hujan perform.
Org blk td dia br nk perform.
Konon sesj nk ks dia rs berslh.
Tp x pn.
Cube lg.
Bakar dia lg.
Tp sempat amik gamba ngn mamat noh yg comel tu tau.
Kitorang ade backstage pass.
Dia dgn selambe wt muke ape2-jelh-pompuan-ni-klu-aku-lyn-smpi-esk-pg-pn-x-hbs.
Cis!
Haha..
Whatever.
I still love him =)

Then on Saturday spent my whole day with him.
Supposely kitorang g mengundi la kn.
Tp aku register pn x lg.
Plus my bf is too lazy to drive back to JB.
Jauh 2 nk kene vote kt JB.
Hehe..
X pe, 4 taun lg kite g mengundi sm2.
G midval ingt nk tgk muvi.
Tp dh ptg sgt n line sgt pnjg.
End up g shopping t-shirt je la.
Dinner kt putrajaya.
Next day br tgk Vantage Point kt Times Square.
I like the action and stuff.
But from my point of view, there's no logic behind the scene.
Too many coincidences.

And today, I started my day fresh n sgt berkobar-kobar utk wt keje =)

Congratulations BA!
It's time for changes.

~your talking, your talking so much i don't believe what you say

life owh life

2008-03-06T12:50:00.013+08:00

It has been quite a while since I last updated my blog. Life? Totally blast! I've been very busy these past few weeks. Let me update where life has brought me to for the last 2 weeks.

I spent my last last weekend at Lumut (Note the 2 last words). Had a nice picnic at Teluk Batik with my bf. Swam in the sea. Well, not really swimming. I didn't know how to swim =p.

Last week on Tuesday, went shoe-shopping with my Jojoi. Bought 2 pairs of nice shoes. Then on Wednesday, received missed calls from Jojoi around 2 a.m. Man, I hate myself for putting my hp into silent mode. He sent sms to tell me that he just lost his father but I was sleeping. I was such a bad best friend kn? I woke up around 5, read the sms but couldn't continue my sleep feeling sad and guilty at the same time for not being there when he needs me. Promise, I won't put my hp into silent mode after this. Finally, I decided to drive all the way from KL to Kulim, since Meown had agreed to accompany me. He was an excellent company I could say. I didn't feel sleepy at all though he ended up sleeping for a while.

Off we go after Subuh prayer to Kulim, arrived there around 11. And there stood my best buddy, smiling like he always does. Yup, dia seorg lelaki yg sgt tabah. I got to meet few of his relatives. Had lunch with Meown and his aunty and spent my afternoon at his aunt's house. After Zuhur prayer, Meown drove me all the way from Kulim to Sg Petani to attend the funeral. He refused to drive my car at first. Why? He said my car is too small compared to his. Of course la kn.

It was hot and all at the cemetery. We all smell like I don't know how to describe. But I felt relief somehow. Relief that it was only raining cats and dogs for a while and then the weather continue to be hot. Why did I like it to be sunny and hot all the way? I didn't want another tragedy during rainy days added to my best friend's life. Enough with what he had before.

We left the cemetery around 430pm, all sweat. Al-Fatihah to arwah Uncle Ali. Though I didn't get the chance to meet him throughout his life, I somehow know that he was super-special. Tp x pelh, dh smpi ms dia. Lps2 ni ms kte plk.

كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ وَما الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلاَّ مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
"Tiap-tiap yang berjiwa akan merasakan mati, dan sesungguhnya pada hari kiamat sajalah disempurnakan pahalamu. Barangsiapa dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga, maka sungguh ia telah beruntung. Dan kehidupan dunia itu tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan yang memperdayakan."Surah Ali Imran Ayat 185

Sent Meown to Baling after that. He had to go to Penang the next day so why bother going back to KL. Baling ialah daerah yg paling mundur. Don't blame me for saying this. Jojoi is the one who told me this. Tobat tnk pegi Baling lg. Not until the new highway siap ok. Jauh n dlm nk mati. So Meown, jgn kawen lg smpi highway tu siap tau. Hehe..

Since it almost reached night and I was exhausted to death, I decided to spend a night at Lumut. Drove all the way from Baling to Lumut using the scary Gerik road all alone at night. There were only few cars using that road so it was kind of scary and I started to imagine few nonsense things at the back seat each time I watched the back mirror. Drove like 120km/hr at those winding and dark road. I knew it was dangerous but I could only think of reaching Lumut as soon as possible. And yes, I did arrive safely around 10pm. Went back to KL the next morning, got a chance to meet my bf early in the morning because he got to work.

Then last Saturday got to attend Aimi's wedding at Batu Pahat and ate Javanese food at Daia's house in Muar. Went there with Vandy-ians and I could say the trip was awesome.

This week, I spent my day working in labs and postgraduate room until six and spent my night watching good dvds. I could say, my schedule is full and I didn't bore myself at all.

Can't wait to watch Hujan with Along this Friday and spend the weekend with my bf, again!

~it's not over tonight, just give me one more chance to make it right

kepada lelaki2 yg suke merajuk..

2008-02-21T09:57:00.004+08:00

Haaa.. topic hari ni, lelaki yg suke merajuk..
Nak tau sbb ape aku tulis?
Sbb aku tgh bengang tahap tah hape2 ni…
Ni leh kire consider update ke ape?

Aku cam menyampah gle kt lelaki yg suke merajuk2 ni..
Klu pompuan tu kire normal la kn..
Sbb pompuan ade hari2 exception dia..
Ni laki?
Ko pn dtg bln gk ke ape?
Ckp sket nk merajuk..
Ckp sket nk merajuk..
Klu merajuk 2-3 kali tu leh terime pakai jgk la nk pujuk..
Ni klu dh berkali-kali cm meluat plk..
Menyampah pn ade..
Come on la..
Ko kn laki, act like a man..
Seb bek x de depan mata..
Klu ade..
Gerenti melayang kasut converse aku kene tepat kt kepala otak ko..
Jd cm cte sindarela plk nnt..
Arrggggghhhhhhhhhhh…
Tension!!
Blathah nnt nk?
Jgn hrp la aku nk pujuk!

~you bite through the big wall, the big wall bites back. you just sit there and sulk, sit there and bawl

taggy tag

2008-02-18T14:06:00.007+08:00

I've been tagged hard by irwan. So here it goes

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.

2. List 8 random facts about yourself.
- I hate studying but yet I'm pursuing my studies in grad school
- I love school because there are lots and lots of holidays
- I hate waiting to the greatest extent that I can really explode
- I always miss this someone not worth to miss
- I adore adidas since I met my first adidas sneakers
- I have motion sickness problem. I'll take couple of dramamines before I take a ride on plane
- I'm easy to forgive but hard to forget kind of person
- I save sms that has sentimental value

3. Tag 8 people (max) at the end of the post and list their names.
jojoe liza sassy along faiz irene kak wani

4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

~don't you worry about the distance, i'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen

i'm going to be healthy after this

2008-02-06T09:50:00.000+08:00

I learnt something yesterday.

Something for the 1st time after 24 years of living.

It's kind of embarrassing to tell.

People must be laughing to know this dark side of me.

Should I tell?

Or should I not?

Should I tell?

Or should I not?

Ok, I'll tell.

I'm not good at keeping secret.

Promise me not to laugh ok?

Ok?

I don't hear you're saying ok?

Ok?

Good...

I'm a young adult who can't swallow pills.
For the first time in my life, I've successfully swallow pills.
Yes, yesterday!
Fine!!!
Gelak la..
Gelak la..
Gelak la sepuas hati!
I was overexcited and because of that, I've took 4 pills yesterday.
I know I was crazy but luckily I was sick yesterday.
Lucky huh?
2 antibiotics, 1 panadol, and 1 pill for my flu.
Fair enough kan..
Owhh, I'm so going to tell my mom today!
She must be proud of me.
No more chewing, melting, or opening the capsules after this.
And I'm going to miss my mom saying this..

Belajar je tinggi2 tp x reti telan ubat!

Owh well, I am not the one kan?
Kan?
Kan?
*grin*

I know this is kind of childish.
But I'm going to be healthy after this!

feel like swallowing all of these

be-not-too-lated .2.4.

2008-01-31T16:25:00.000+08:00

Haven't got enough time to update recently.
I had a nice vacation at PD these past 3 days.

Owh well, I'm 24 and I kind of like it.
Being twenty four makes me feel old but it doesn't seem so bad.
I like the number 'two' and number 'four' itself.
They are both even!
2 + 2 = 4
2 x 2 = 4
And because of number two, I think it's not too much for me to have two birthday cakes.
My sis bought one.
And the other one, I shared with Aiman courtesy of fellow Vandians Daia, Hikmah, Irwan, Nazriq
I could say, I had an awesome birthday with great presents, free foods, and nice vacation from the love ones.
Thank you for all the wishes be it sms, e-mails, phone calls, testimonials, you name it.

Owh well, I'm 24 and I kind of like it.
But I think I will like 25 more because to be 25th on 25th January sounds cool.
I guess numbers really is not a big matter for me but being young at heart is all that matters.

*Thanks to irwan for the pics

::tenjewberrymuds

2008-01-28T11:47:00.000+08:00

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in
the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome."

let me learn how to love

2008-01-24T11:16:00.000+08:00

Spent Wesak with 3 Vandians, Daia, Hikmah, and Tiqah at Batu Caves yesterday. I know, it's Thaipusam but I kept saying Wesak over and over again. Didn't know what went wrong with me. Something might get into me. And yes, of course I'm kidding, we didn't go to Batu Caves but instead shopped at Sogo. I didn't buy anything except for food and I could say it was a good record for me.

Well, maybe that was not that good. I certainly not buy anything because I bought a pair of levi's a week before and going to get a nice watch this weekend. No, it's not my money. I don't have money to buy things for myself. It's my mom's and my sisters' money for birthday pressies. Weeee... Hehe..

Being a student in Malaysia is not fun at all. You can't save your money and feel like you're the poorest among all your friends who have good jobs. And hang out with them isn't a really good idea but once in a while you just want to. Tukar2 angin la kn.. Hari2 mengadap muke sama pn bosan jgk.

Arrived at UPM around 10 last night after having dinner with few other Vandians. Slept around 11 but I was waked up twice by phone calls from someone dear. One was around midnight and the other was at dawn. And once woke up its just hard for me to continue my sleep. Feel like I wasn't sleeping at all last night but in reality I did sleep. Of course I kind of pissed off but had to layan it anyway. Well, at least for 10 minutes.

Insecurity brings thousand of meaning. Depending on the situation, some people would just do anything to turn the situation to the opposite. I've experienced insecurity and I'm pretty sure you have too! You can't sleep, you don't feel like eating, and you do all sort of weird things just to get rid of that feeling. You listen to someone talking but you have no idea what they are talking about. And I don't blame him, it was me who brings the insecurity feeling to him. If I was him, I would act just like how he acted. Punch me!

Please god, let me learn how to love..

~when i don't know why

cool huh?

2008-01-16T17:52:00.000+08:00

The reason why I decided to write something in here today is because of the internet connection problem. It was okay this morning. Daymnn!! Started to do my work with full of spirit and determination but end up cursing the internet connection. It happened since noon and since I'm not in the mood of reading but googling (this word doesn't exist, don't bother to find dictionary) some information via Google, I stopped to play games instead of reading.

Life is pretty awesome nowadays. I'm not doing tutorial this semester but I'm a co-supervisor for three third year students for their chemical engineering project survey. All of them are Chinese, two are guys and one is of course the opposite. My supervisor wants me to assist them. It is fun but kind of tiring because they ask all sort of question available on this earth (deliberately exaggerated).

My supervisor seems nicer this semester probably because she safely delivered her baby. Well, at least she didn't scold me for saying I'm not sure. I miss that, I think! We manage to get our own grant money that worth sixty thousands for me to complete my research. So, no more tumpang geran org lain.

The thing is that my workload is increasing since she wants me to modify the existing CVD reactor. Instead of producing carbon nanotubes she wants me to produce titanium dioxide with this reactor (don't mind me if you don't understand what I'm talking here). I already in my 3rd semester and of course modifying reactor bring worries to me. Time flies so fast nowadays. Will need at least a semester to get the reactor done. Looks like it is impossible for me to finish my studies in 3 years. Whatever. Have to get it done anyway. Patience is the most important element in my scope of work. I'm happy!

To sit back and ponder, I could say, I'm satisfied with my life right now. Everything is cool. But sometimes being cool is not that cool at all. Haih! I should learn how to be grateful kn? But it is still cool.. And I'm still happy!

~I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you, I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling, too

2 0 0 8

2008-01-07T16:58:00.001+08:00

It's too late to wish happy New Year but still I want to say it out loud

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My fault, I'm too lazy to update. I don't know what to write plus the workload and all the fun stuff that is happening around make me feels sluggish to communicate with this cyber world.

Ok, few updates to those who care. I attended my best friend's wedding on 22nd December. My best friend wanted me to be his bridesmaid but kill me, I won't do that. The wedding was super-duper awesome. With the fireworks, the kompang, the silat, the zapin, the ghazal, the super-yummy ferrero rocher as the bunga pahar, the fancy outfit, the huge banner, you name it. Everything looks gorgeous and grand and it's a wedding that fits the dreams of every girl.

my best friend's wedding
us
pandan jayanians

What else? The next weekend 29th December, I went to JB to attend my bf's best friend wedding. Simple but nice wedding at the bride's house. Thanks to him for forcing me to go. Spent a night at his house. Scary, I know! But comfortable. Celebrated New Year in JB. No New Year resolution, but he got one. Awesome, the traffic was terrible! Headed back to KL on the 2nd. Too bad, I got no picture for these.

I'm doing a lot of thinking right now. Am making a big decision that will change my life forever. Part of me says yes, but the other part is filled with fear. Lacking of confidence it is.

fuel crisis

2007-12-18T15:23:00.001+08:00

Just for fun.

A man was driving down a road and ran out of petrol.
Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm out of petrol."

The bee told the man to be right there and flew away.
Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

"Wow!" The man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank?"

The bee answered, "BP."

Little not-so-interesting updates

Had a terrible toothache last week and went to see the dentist. My top and bottom wisdom tooth do not grow in parallel and it happened that my top wisdom teeth eat small part of my bottom gum. I had infection but everything seems good now. I just have to wait for the infection to cure and then probably after school holiday I'll go back to the dentistry to cut small portion of my gum. Sounds scary and painful at the same time but I'll do it anyway.

Watched two movies last week. One is golden compass and one is I am a legend. Both movies were not as good as what I expected. If you want to know the details, go watch it by yourself or google the summary somewhere else.

My research is sucks! The results didn't come out like what I was predicted. Hate it! I know, I should be reading journals instead of go out and berpoya2.

Want to go see Dewa this coming weekend but seems like my bf gave me a big NO-NO sign. And when he says no, it really means no. Nevermind, there are still few days left. Still got time to persuade him. Haih! I should buy the ticket first then tell him. There's no way he can say no if I already have the ticket.

Can't wait to go home tomorrow. Happy Eidul Adha everyone!

MCR

2007-12-11T15:28:00.001+08:00

So what is MCR?

It's My Chemical Romance. Mind you, I made a fool of myself by asking that question in the middle of the crowd in Stadium Merdeka last Sunday. Haha.. I know I am silly but heck, I hate and I don't know lots of abbreviations. So don't use any when you're talking to me.

The concert was hell fun though it was raining cats and dogs. We were in free standing zone. Went there with Jojoe, Meown, and another friend named Abg Jali. My bf was mad at me in the first place to know that I'll be going there with guys but he ended up filling my fuel tank to its full before headed back to Lumut. Hehe.. I just love him!

Ok. It's time to let the pictures do the talking!

all of us
crazy us
me and my jojoi
me and meown

Shhhh.. Don't tell my dad. He's going to chop my head off if he knows that I went to the concert.

What else? My weekend was fun. Other than the concert, I went to shop and watched Enchanted. I know, it was kind of late but yet I watched it with someone worth the wait. Enchanted was good. Half of it made me felt like living in a fairy tales while the other half threw me back to the reality.

~and maybe when you get back, i'll be off to find another way

ignore me

2007-12-04T14:16:00.001+08:00

I spent a tremendous weekend with cousins and family.
My cousin held a very grand wedding.
I finally get a chance to drive my very first car to school. Yay!
Mom and dad were so worried.
Dad showed me this and that and accompanied me driving back to UPM this morning and ended up taking cab back to home.
I need someone to accompany me while I'm driving around or precisely paap.
I'm getting confuse each and every day.
My work got stuck and really need to find a way to get over it.
My bf is resigning today, he got better offer at lumut.
He has been asking my opinion about his new job zillion of times.
I'd prefer him to work at the former place since I know that place well enough and that I can imagine him going here and there but not the new place.
Somehow, I think the closer the better.
So, let's get back to point number 9 – lumut is better.
I feel anxious thinking about the coming week.
I want to go see My Chemical Romance live in KL but I don't think they still have the tickets.
Crying will make people worry about you, so stop crying and act like an adult.
I'm hungry, everyone has ate their lunch but not me.
Sometimes I think I had a good life but most of the time I be in opposition to what I think. Stupid!
This entry is just another piece of crap from me.
I'm confuse.
I'm confuse.
I'm confuse.
The last three are the main point.

Bye~

~falling, i'm falling

love

2007-11-28T17:05:00.001+08:00

Love is a special feeling we share with others. It's a feeling of acceptance, a confidence that we are love, not for what we've been or will be but for what we are right now.

Typical question that people ask, what is love? To tell you the truth, I have no idea what exactly love means. When I was a kid, I used to think that love is forever and that means, one love is for one life. We've always been dreaming to fall in love once, hoping that it will be forever. But the truth is far from the reality.

I knew a guy when I was in standard six. He kinda like me and so I thought I might like him too. But he moved somewhere else when we were in form one and the story ends there. Lost contact are two best words to describe. Thinking that one love is for one life, I waited for him till 15. It's funny to think back of that time, we never declare anything but that definition of love that I embrace did bring a meaning to my life, well at least for that time. And till now, I still have the music box that he gave on my 13th birthday. That was the first story of my childish love life. Guess what? Unintentionally, we start contacting each other after I graduated. But hey, we both had find love of our live.

The next one was kind of pathetic. It started at the age of 15 and ended at the age of 17. Went to boarding school but he wasn't, received a nice ring from him on 16th birthday but ended up threw it in trash can. Why? We never met for months and finally he came with a girl to our school reunion and I was wearing the ring at that time. Sounds real pathetic huh? I would never want to consider that as love.

So there I stop talking about my childish love life. I had no intention to tell it to anyone but look like I've spilt some here. Shhhhh.. don't tell anyone. It's shameful! The rest of the stories, I was a beyatch to love twice and stay loyal to love twice. And not counted here is what I'm going through right now.

Everyone has their own stories of love life. Some were great, some were sad, some were short, some were long, some were weird, some were just lucky, and some got unlucky. Normal people believe in long relationships. So do I. People stay together for years. And so I tried and failed, few times. Tell me, tell me how normal people do it.

If I was given a chance, I would choose not to fall in love to anyone but my bf. But heck, this is what life is all about. Bummer..

~talk of better days that have yet to come, never felt this love from anyone

how to run away

2007-11-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

Just for fun.

Think.... Don't rush to look for the answer.
Think!! How can you take off the rope and save yourself from the lion!

Think............... think it strongly...

Don't peep for the answer.........

THINK lah..................

THINK..................

THINK.................. MORE...........................

Ok, so you give up?

Here's the answer Hehehe..

I was wearing a pair of sandals this morning, searching for aquarium pump in one of the labs. Then someone came in.

Excuse me, you gune lab mn?
Saya gune lab material. But I'm not doing any lab works today. I'm searching for things.
I think you should wear shoes whenever you want to go to lab (dgn nada teragak-agak).
So that's what you think? It's not compulsory right? Even the lab technicians never say such things to me before. I am just here for a minute or two. Can't you see I'm not doing any lab work?

Mind you. The last paragraphs are the sentences I wished to say. But I'm not saying it anyway. Kang nmpk cm kurang ajar plk w/p pd hakikatnye that's what I was dying to say. Haha.. Ok, my bad. It's for my safety =)

Sometimes you wish you could say mean things to people but you can't say it. I don't know for the sake of who it is. Well, maybe for your own good or maybe for the sake of that person. Whatever it is, sometimes we have to stand for our right. In my case I would say, I'm standing for my wrong. Hehe.. Lucky I still can think rationally at that time.

p/s: you can't think rationally on an empty stomach, so go eat!

~we never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea, but if you can still remember, stop and think of me...

miss

2007-11-15T15:23:00.001+08:00

It's raining heavily outside. If you could see my face right now, all you could say is that I look miserable (fine, x de kene mengena langsung). Miserable as in miserable. With swollen eyes and dirty face. Everyone around says I look pale and tired. They want me to cheer up but how can I cheer up when everything is haywire. My workload, my mood, and I miss my bf so bad.

I'm so in need of vacation and yes, since my supervisor is still on her maternity leave, I'm thinking of taking leave and spend time with my bf over the weekend starting from tonight to be precise =p. Told my mom about this and she was like you're still going if I dont give you permission. And all I could do is to smile.

~don't be scared, you'll never change what's been and gone, may your smile shine on

eat your words

2007-11-13T07:45:00.001+08:00

There are times in life when we say something we are not supposed to say. Something we are not meant to say. But we say it anyway because we are so angry at that time. Because we want to run from the reality. Because we want to make life so much easier. Because we want to make other people hate us, at that time to be exact. Not now, not forever.

We say something for the sake of saying it. We never think about the consequences of saying it when we say, so we say. And so we tell. We think that we can live with what we say forever but the truth is wayyy out from the way.

It's funny just to think of how human beings try to solve their problem without thinking. It's funny of how we are trying to get back something that we ever throw in our life. It's funny of how we learn to appreciate something only when that thing is gone. But it's true. We never learn how to appreciate until we lose it. Not never, seldom sounds much much better.

When we lose something that we ever love in life and finally we are able to get it back, would we not hold to it like we never had it? This time, we'll hold to it firmly, carefully, and we try to love it more so that we don't lose it again. But this is not always going to happen. Cause most of the time, once we throw it, we can't never find and get it back. Cause life goes on and it's become more difficult to get back what we throw especially when what we throw is something that we call human. Cause human keeps growing, cause human's life keeps moving.

So, whenever we want to say what we want to say, to think of the consequences is the best thing to do. Never say anything unless it comes from our heart. Never say anything unless we really mean it. Or else, we are going to eat our words in the hardest way.
~when you lose something you can't replace

hero

2007-11-01T18:55:00.000+08:00

What did I do today? Other than did some experiment in lab, I read jojoe's blog. The topic is really interesting – 'Menjangkau bintang'. Katenye, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al-Masri is not the real hero (well, maybe to him). Took this from his blog..

Hero terbesar bagi aku adalah Datuk Mazlan, kerana dialah orang yang menyedia dan membawa segala impian dan perancangan ke alam nyata seperti yang kita saksikan hari ni.

Hero kedua pulak yang aku nampak adalah Dato' Sheikh Mustapha Shukor Al-Masri, ayahandanya Dr. Sheikh atau Mus, macam yang family dia panggil. Nak tau sebab apa? Ok, bayangkan. Dr. Mus lahir tak cukup bulan, and berat dia tak sampai 3 lbs. Doktor sendiri yg cakap, dia takkan cecah 6 kaki (big deal? aku pon! HAHAHA). But do u know wut did this old man did? Dia antar Mus pegi gym.. n put Mus into swimming classes, and trained him real hard. All of those have made Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor as who he is today - the pride of our nation!

Copy sket eh joi. Klu nk tau lebih lanjut lg cerita psl hero ni, go check his blog - Jojoe. So, klu itu pendpt dia, kite terima je lah. One thing for sure Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar ni sgt la macho. Hehe.. And he's the only reason why I watched news and read newspaper. Aduh, ceteknye pemikiranku. Haha.. X la.. Actually I can't stand the smell of the papers. The smell makes me wanna sneeze. Tp disbbkn Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar yg hensem tu, bersin pn bersin la. Tp bole je bc newspaper online kn? Alasan..

Haa… jgn nk kutuk2 aku. Korang pn lebih kurang je. Normal ape pompuan tgk laki hensem. Laki tgk pompuan cun. Tgk je.. X luak pn..

Klu jojoi dgn heronye, aku dgn hero aku la. As for me, my hero is.. is.. is.. err.. I don't have a hero and I don't think I need a hero. Cukup la Superman, Spiderman and all those superhero yg dh ade dlm tv. X perlu kutambah lg hero dlm hidup ni. Hehe..

Hish.. There' so much thing that I wanna jot here. But time doesn't permit me to do so. Daaaa~

Mariah Carey - Hero

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Just hold on
There will be tomorrow
And in time
You'll find the way

5 rules to be a favorite tutor

2007-10-26T16:23:00.004+08:00

I've been using these 5 rules and it works!

Rule number 1:
Smile throughout the class period no matter how bad your day is. This is the most important rule.
Rule number 2:
Admit if you don't know the answer to any question. Don't fool the students and yourself by acting like you know everything.
Rule number 3:
Don't be too strict. It's funnier to learn in relax environment.
Rule number 4:
Don't just give the answers, make them think.
Rule number 5:
Respect them if you want them to respect you.

Today is the last day for me as a tutor for Modern Engineering Math 1. I can't believe that I've taught this course for a semester. It's funny to think back of how I could stand, speak, write, and teach them in front of the class. It's true, I have the ugliest hand writing ever. It's true, they were much younger than me. Hey, they are 1st year student. But they are much taller than me. But they are bigger than me. But still, the respect is there. But still, it was fun. They seem to like me. They seem to enjoy what I taught. They seem to understand almost everything though I know some were just hard to understand. Well, at least those are what I think =p. It'not hard to teach, when you used to it. You don't need lots of hours to do the preparation if you know the materials well. All you have to do is to teach them well =).

~i've been the needle and the thread, weaving figure eights and circles round your head, i try to laugh but cry instead, patiently wait to hear the words you've never said

selamat hari raya

2007-10-18T16:05:00.000+08:00

Just want to wish Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir batin to all the blog readers.

I just come back from home. Still lazy to get back to work. Haih.. Lm sgt cuti.. Almost 2 weeks. Klu x de class hr ni and x yah mengajar esk confirm sambung cuti lg. I hope everyone is having nice hr ry. As for me, this year is the best ry ever, though I woke up sneezing and coughing on the first day of ry. I don't know why but it's totally fun. Cume gamba je x de nk letak kt sini.

I went back to Perak on Friday and just come back from Kulim yesterday. How I wish Ameer and Jojoi was there. Tp sume org x de. But still, it was fun. Cume klu dpt beraye rmh derang jd lg fun, fun, fun la. Kurang2 leh lepak Prangin Mall.. Hehe..

Have ate quite a lot of food, have met quite a lot of nice and good looking people =D, have received quite a lot of duit ry (I'm a student okay). And I know my ry won't stop here. Can't wait for this weekend. My bf is coming over. Haven't met him for almost a month. And most probably I'll follow him back to JB. Sambung cuti ry. Yay!

Today I learn that we'll never know what we've got till it's gone.

~minding my business, i was doing my dance, got my attention, so i gave him a chance

the truth

2007-10-08T05:35:00.000+08:00

I finally got the courage to tell the truth to him and him and her.
I didn't know where the courage comes from.
But someone had really brought a meaning to my life.
He taught me that lies would only make us live at no ease.
And now I can sing my heart out everyday.
Because I know that I've done the most righteous thing in life.
Burst your anger in one day will make you say 'hey, I don't hold any grudge to anyone' the next day.

Today I learn that honesty is the best policy.

~our friends would all make fun of us, and we'll just laugh along because we know, that none of them had felt this way

permanent head damage

2007-10-03T16:56:00.000+08:00

birthday ko 31/10 ke?
ni nk majuk ni
cpt la. dh ngntk ni
nk watpe?hmm bln 11 la…
oo.. 30 ke 31?
tie, tie.. aku nk majuk pn x smpi ati tau.. sjk bila bln November ada 31ari? xpe.. xpe.. jmpe ko nnt siap ar..
oo.. lmbt lg. nnt ingtkn blk eh =p. gud nite
g la tdo. nk lyn majuk sorang2
g la tp jgn lm2 sgt.. buruk org tua majuk..

This is me, hard to remember numbers. Really need to find a cure for that. And kt sini, I want to say sorry from the deepest of my heart to Mr. Hazaril Firdaus for not remembering my bestest friend's birthday. Sorry jojoi! Though someone says sorry seems to be the hardest word, for me it's the most appropriate word in this situation. Blame my memory for that!
p/s: You can pinch me once we meet

I have reached the level where I dreamt of all sorts of chemical equations these past two nights. How critical it is. Really hate it. When I woke up, felt like I haven't slept at all. Blame my procrastinating habit for this! It has been a while since I had this kind of dream. Last time was during my undergraduate studies. You know, I've been working hard to come out with a proper mechanism to synthesis iron-doped titanium dioxide using hydrothermal method these past few days. And till now, I still haven't found a complete set of chemical equations to show to my supervisor. I want to show her that my maturity level has reach PhD level. She's so mean to say that I haven't reach that level yet! How I wish I am genius!
p/s: If you happen to find the equations, plz contact me asap

Today I learn that I shouldn't read journals and think of any chemical equations before go to bed!

~oh how quiet, quiet the world can be, when it's just you and little me

i hate her

2007-10-02T16:30:00.001+08:00

The title says it all.

Please don't ask me why.

Today I learn that we shouldn't hope for people to have faith in us, we got to have faith ourselves.

~you gotta say what you say, don't let anybody get in your way, cause it's all too much for me to take

break-fasting

2007-09-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

Kenp hjr nkg jb?
Nkg bkk pose..
Asl kjp sgt?
Hjr byk keje la..
Byk keje pn nk pegi jgk tu..
Kene!

So I headed to JB on Tuesday afternoon and went back to KL the next day.
Yup, he is busy at this time of the year.
Lucky, his gf is a student who can always create free time =D.
It was just plain ridiculous and tiring but I really had to meet him.
Don't mind about the tiring.
I feel strange and odd if I couldn't see him for more than 10 days.
My mood would swing like crazy.
And to meet him is like rebooting back my mood.
Just like you reboot your computer.
It was all good to get to see his face again.
And we had rice with our all-time-favorite dishes for dinner =).
Can't wait for raye.
He has promised to come to KL and definitely my house.
There's no way mommy can say no-no to her daughter's love.
Hehe..
Please excuse my angauness.
If you don't like what I'm writing here but you still read it anyway, I would love to say thank you and screw you!

Today I learn that we should never say anything unless we really mean it (too bad I only learn it today, if not I won't make the biggest mistake in life).

~cause even when i dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do

how beijing olympic logo come from

2007-09-25T11:25:00.002+08:00

Just for fun.
Sbb sy sgt bz.

Currently addicted to Mocca. Lagu2 Mocca sgt cute =)

I think I'm in love by Mocca

If you got an eerie feeling after hanging up the phone
Sort of happy feeling but you're not sure what it's called

If you're haunted by his face whenever you're asleep at night
And think you hear his silly voice just calling out your name

Oh, no! I think I'm in love with you..
Oh, no! I'm hoping you'll want me too
So, please..don't let me down!

Just can't help but talk about him in every conversation
Till your friends are sick and tired of that same old crap

If you start wearing make up even when you go to bed
Crying like a baby when you hear a mellow song

Oh, no! I think I'm in love with you..
Oh, no! I'm hoping you'll want me too
So, please..don't let me down!

~cause when you're around i feel safe and warm, cause when you're around i can fall in love everyday

broke, broke

2007-09-20T13:29:00.001+08:00

I accidentally broke a QUARTZ glass tube that covers UV lamp few weeks ago. And it worth RM1+++. If you ever want to compare the size and the price, you might say that it is very expensive. But quartz glass is not an ordinary glass. It can resist high temperature. I'll be broke or penniless if I ever have to pay the price. Memula rs cm tnk mengaku je, tp x baik pulak. Be responsible! So, I talked to the owner, who is actually one of my supervisory committees. She told me that she borrowed the lamp from another person. Luckily, she's willing to buy a new quartz glass tube using her grant money. I feel real bad and guilty at the same time. Yelh kn, bkn murah. Cm membazir je beli bende tu. Aku yg clumsy, org len plk yg kene pay the price for my clumsiness. Only people close to me knows how clumsy I am at handling things. Haih! Sgt clumsy! Sgt guilty!

And you know what? Two days ago my friend accidentally broke quartz glass for fluidized bed reactor. And this time, the quartz glass is bigger than the one that I've broke. It worth more than ten thousands! Luckily her supervisor is willing to pay using his grant money. Bile tgk2 blk, rs lega jgk la. Rerupenye ade jgk org yg wt lebih teruk dr aku. I am not saying that I am happy because she broke quartz glass that is bigger than me, NO! Tp rs guilty tu agak berkurang sket la.

And I promise not to be clumsy again..

Today I learn that sometimes clumsiness can lead to broke.

~i wish i could of told you the things i kept inside, but now i guess it's just to late

don't be greedy

2007-09-18T12:00:00.000+08:00

Is it wrong for 2 people to stay in a room with 1 bed and 1 study table if we have to pay 11 bucks for a room per day? Eleven bucks per day is just too much for a student to afford. Eleven multiply with 30 will total up to 330. Three hundred and thirty bucks per month for a graduate student, I could rent a nice house with at least 2 rooms with that amount of money. But this is just a small room, in a college.

UPM has increases the college fee to 11 bucks per day from 5 bucks per day. We've made an appeal to the college and to the development centre but they were not helpful at all. Our heartfelt request did not succeed. Some people just don't care. So we 6 grad students have stayed in a pair per room. Unfortunately, 2 of us get caught for 2 people staying in a room. They did give warning to us. Haih, people has become greedy these days. They'd rather leave all the rooms empty than to rent it with lower fee. They should consider us as students, not as full time workers. There's no way for us to pay 330 bucks per month for that small, expensive room. No consideration for us. It really pissed me off.

Today I learn that we shouldn't be greedy. The one sure way to lose everything we've obtained is to be greedy.

~did you know you used to be my hero, all the days you spend with me, now seem so far away, and it feels like you don't care anymore

random stuffs that make me smile

2007-09-12T15:29:00.001+08:00

jokes

SAPE HEBAT
Man : Bapa aku hebat. Dia polis. Semua orang takut ngan dia.
Ali : Eleh, bapa aku lagi terer. Kalau dia suruh orang tunduk, mesti orang tu tunduk.
Man : Wow! Bapa kau keja apa?
Ali : Tukang gunting rambut.

KELAS BI
Ayah : Apasal B.I kamu nie asyik dapat kosong jer...! Apasal hah?
Anak : Eh, ayah! Tu bukan kosong. Tadi cikgu adik dah kasi
bintang banyak kat bebudak lain. Ada dapat 5 bintang la, 4 bintang la. Bila turn adik jer, bintang dah abis. Sebab tu cikgu bagi kat adik bulan.

SUDU
Doktor : Encik kena ambil 3 sudu ubat ni setiap hari.
Pesakit : Eh! tak boleh la doktor.
Doktor : Kenapa?
Pesakit : Rumah saya ada dua sudu jer.

MAYAT
Cikgu : Hasan, sambungkan 2 ayat ini menjadi satu. 'Ali menaiki basikal ke sekolah. Ali ternampak mayat.'
Hasan : Ali ternampak mayat menaiki basikal ke sekolah.

TIRU
Cikgu : Encik, anak awak didapati meniru Ali dalam exam.
Bapa : Apa bukti awak?
Cikgu : Encik tengok soalan nombor 4 nie. Siapakah menemui Pulau Pinang ? Seman tulis 'Saya tak tahu' dan anak encik tulis 'Kalau engkau tak tahu, aku lagi la tak tahu'.

DOKTOR
Suatu petang datang seorang lelaki berumur ke kelinik ENT, kerana telinganya dimasuki biji kacang hijau semasa dia membeli barang dapur di pasar.
Doktor : Selamat petang...
Pesakit : Selamat petang Doktor!
Doktor : Ada masalah apa ...?
Pesakit : Telinga saya dimasuki biji kacang hijau, Doktor...
Doktor : Biar saya periksa telinga anda!
setelah diperiksa... .
Doktor : Ada 2 cara untuk mengeluarkan biji tersebut...
Pesakit : Apa caranya doktor?
Doktor : Pembedahan kecil kosnya 2 ribu ringgit dan pilihan kedua pula percuma...
Pesakit : Mahal sangat Doktor, kalau yang percuma bagaimana?
Doktor : Yang percuma kena sabar...
Pesakit : Baik, saya sabar, dan bagaimana caranya...?
Doktor : Anda sirami telinga anda 2 kali sehari dan nanti jika
sudah jadi tauge anda tinggal tarik keluar.
Pesakit : Huh

All these jokes might be common but still I want to put it here.

a flash

Want one? Go to http://geocities.com/testiflash

This flash pn cm common jgk. Tp comel je =)
and last but not least.. tadaaaaaaaa..

a cute picture

hehe..

So fasting month is just around the corner. Hope everyone will be having a bless ramadhan. I might be busy this coming few weeks so might as well not updating this blog regularly. Nk jht bj lg, nk jht langsir lg, nk wt kuih lg.. haha.. You wish! Whatever it is, h a p p y f a s t i n g !

If God answers your prayer, He's increasing your faith.
If He delays, He's increasing your patience.
If he doesn't answer, He has something better for you.

Today I learn that there truly are no wrong choices, only different paths.

~i'm working so i won't have to try so hard, tables they turn sometimes, oh someday

that short meeting

2007-09-10T16:51:00.001+08:00

I spent my whole weekend with him.
Received nice pressies from him.
That cute hard rock t-shirt, that wonderful Bvlgari perfume, and that shiny key chain.
Each time I got to meet him, I always think that the meeting is quick and short.
Quick and short enough to make me ask 'was I dreaming?' type of questions.
But I know I was not dreaming when I see his thumb drive on my table.
I know I was not dreaming when I see paper bag full of pressies from him.
I know I was not dreaming when I see all his pictures.
And I know I was not dreaming when I can recall all our conversations.
He is the type of person where you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Don't mind me if you think I'm talking about cheesy things here.
I'll still write what I want no matter what your thought is.

Today I learn that sometimes love can make people stupid.

~other dancers may be on the floor, dear, but my eyes will see only you, only you have that magic technique, when we sway i go weak

things to ponder

2007-09-06T08:56:00.001+08:00

Kedah won 2-0 in its second tournament with Terengganu.
That little psychic wants me to join him to watch the final match.
He promised to treat me if I ever wear KedahFC t-shirt that he bought for me to the match.
Hmm..
I've yellow tudung.
Now all I ever have to buy is green shoes and a flag.
Haha.. NOT~
Owh, owh.. sejak ble belot ngn Selangor ni.
Actually I've better plan for this weekend but am not really sure.
Watching soccer will be fun because kicking and screaming are fun things to do.
I may not good at kicking but I'm good at screaming and, and owh I'm a good supporter too (ye la tu)!
But my plan is much more fun than to watch the soccer game.
Whatever..

I've been totally busy this week.
Walking here and there.
Naik tangga turun tangga.
I've start doing some simple experiment in lab.
Plus I need to read plenty of journals.
It's kind of tiring.
And if I'm tired, it's hard for me to sleep at night.
Pusing kanan, pusing kiri tp x tdo2 jgk.
Time tu la nk batuk n hingus nk meleleh segale.
Plus there are so much to ponder..

Esk nk wt experiment ape?
What equipment and chemicals to use?

Why these equipment and chemicals?

Nk cr equipment kt mn? (UPM sucks at providing equipment though it's one of the leading research universities in M'sia plus lab technicians yg slalu je hilang)

Will it work?

Smpt ke nk siapkn?

Nk bc journal lg.

That thick photochemistry book tu lg.

Bile nk jmpe supervisor?

Mcm mn nk jwb soalan2 yg berbagai so that x nmpk cm bodoh sgt dpn supervisor and committee.

P/O x kua lg.

Lagu x download lg. (Yed even make a list of songs for me to download. Daymn!)

What is he doing now?

Has he eaten?

And the list goes on and on.
And it's getting harder to sleep each day.
I wish my room has air conditioner.
So that I could use comforter.
And I need 3 pillows.
Satu letak kt kepala, 1 letak kt kiri, 1 letak kt kanan.
Argggggggggghhhhhhh..
Think I've been infecting by Permanent head Damage virus.
And there is only one cure for this.
I think you know what it is.
Haha… *evil laughter*

Today I learn that people who suffer the most are the people who don't know what they want.

~i'm breaking down and you can't save me, i'm stuck in hell, and i wanna go home

what's wrong?

2007-08-30T09:49:00.001+08:00

What's wrong with good looking guys these days?

OMG!! This is sooooo exciting.
Is Wentworth Miller finally coming out of the closet?????
The Prison Break star has made his first public appearance with boyfriend Luke McFarlane, T.R. Knight's ex.
PerezHilton.com was the first to report on Went and Luke's relationship…back in June!
*taken from forwarded e-mail

I went to LHDN at Kajang yesterday afternoon to get stamp approval for the fellowship agreement with Syafik and Taha. Paid 30 bucks for that. Daymn! Lucky, the service was fast, which i could say quite rare. I mean, come on people, everybody knows that public servants work slow.

The evening was kind of tiring but fun. Went to Midvalley Megamall with Miza. Jeez.. I should be reading journals in my room (at least that was my plan for the evening, the plan that will never work). Didn't buy anything except for ice-cream. Just want to keep her company. She shopped quite a lot. Met few friendly Malaysians. When I say friendly, I really mean friendly. I think everybody should be friendly because meeting friendly people can make you curve happy smile unexpectedly. I try to be friendly, but guess it's not working =p.

Can't wait to go home this evening =).

Today I learn that words can hurt as hard as a fist.

~despise myself for what you've done, sent me back into my world

to relax or to get things done

2007-08-28T12:06:00.002+08:00

Mak tanya..
Senang sgt ke PhD? Lagi sng dari dulu2 eh.. Slalu tgk relax je.. Everyweek blk rmh. X bc buku pon.. Boleh travel pegi Kedah, Johor lagi..
Aku jwb..
Tah, biase je

Supervisor call smlm..
Time tu kt Mines..
Teman kwn beli sport shoes..
Hajar, where are you?
Hmm.. Sy kt college (tipu sunat x pe kot =p)
I talked with Dr. Tinia. Dia ckp u can get some commercial titanium dioxide from her. U bole buat SEM and study photocatalytic dulu. U kene update slalu dgn dia. Dia suke student yg slalu update dgn dia.
Hmm.. Ok, I'll talk to her later.
Bile equipmet and chemicals yg u purchase tu nk smpi?
In one month kot.
Buat experiment simple2 je. Sy x nk u buang ms.
(Dlm hati: Eh, eh, cm dia tau2 plk org tgh buang ms)

To put it in a nutshell, PhD is not easy. It's just me yg suke relax2. Wat keje sket2.. Haih hajar, ade hati nk hbskn PhD in 3 yrs tu. Hehe.. I don't know why, I become lazy each day. Not totally lazy, tp kind of lazy jgk la.. Bgn pg2.. Kol 745 dh pegi bilik postgrad. Sit in front of my notebook doing nothing. Sedar2 dh ptg. Hehe.. Tp ade progress jgk la my research. At least sket. Hehe..

Yesterday was full of satisfaction. I got few ideas on what to do for my research. I also got the offer for UPM fellowship. Yay! Pasni x yah bgn pg2 pegi punch in lg. Hehe..

Weekend was superb w/p duduk kt rmh sorang2 without adik n kakak.
He said..
Sian awk duduk sorang2 kt rmh boring.
I said..
X la. Biase je. Jd anak manje.. Sume nk dpt je. Hehe..
He said..
Awk mmg manje pn. Ble dgn org lg la m'jadi2 manje dia

Ye ke? X kot. Biase je =p. My bf isn't in Malaysia. So it's kind of boring. Feel like bugging someone with text messages tp x tau sape. And to those yg sms me gune bkn nm sebenar, your smsss do not entertain me at all. So, don't bother to waste your money smsing me.

Went to my best friend's engagement with Faizal last Saturday. Though Faizal was late at the first place, I was still happy to see my best friend.

faizal, fatimah, and me

I uploaded few photos (courtesy of Bachok) of Jabar's wedding held last Wednesday. The trip to Alor Star was awesome. The wedding pn awesome. Mcm reunion plk..

gwarians

girls

Today is my mom's birthday. I just call her and she sounds happy.

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y M A K !

cool kn? my mom went fishing with few cousins

Today I learn that if you want it done right, you better do it by yourself.

~he want it easy, he want it relaxed, said i can do alot of things, but i can't do that, two steps forward, then three steps back, it won't be easy

300 sequel

2007-08-25T11:44:00.001+08:00

I'm at home.
All alone without my sister and my brother.
Everything seems boring!

I think this sequel is cute.
Suitable for those yg tgh bored like me =).

A movie as stunning as historical poem!!
The expression of strength and beauty!!!
300 warriors – The counter-attack of Sparta

An ambassador on his way to Sparta, a bloody fight will begin……

This is too crazy!!

Crazy!?

This is Sparta!!

This is also Sparta!!

This still is Sparta!!

No matter what, this is Sparta!!

You crazy bloke!!

Aiya!!

This is Sparta!!

Even King himself has to refer to the God…..

Please guide us!! God of the Sun!!

You siao ar!! Now is night time you call me out!! Get out lah!!!

Damn that stupid sun~
So, the King leads his strongest army and departed….

They met their ally on the way…
Yo~

This is all you got?

I am a hero of justice~

What about you?

I am Harry Potter~

And you?

I am the pride of Saiya~

Ha, a bunch of small characters!!

Brothers!! Tell them what we do!!

Andy Lau: I just wanna be a good man( Andy Lau’s song title)

This is Sparta!

And they reached the dark tower, the Great War began………..

Let them know!!

What is Sparta!!

I just wanna say, what is this to do with me!!

Surrender, Spartan!!

Aaaa!!

Wuuu!!

Actually….I’m your father.

NO~~~~~~~

I want revenge!!

This is Sparta!!

The Spartan army is unstoppable~ finally they come to face the dark lord……..

Never thought it was you……………..

Sponge Bob!!

I lost……..

My time has come!!

Heh!! You are too dumb~

A!! My heart!? You!?

That’s right, this is Sparta!!

Hence the Spartan King live happily ever after - End

Today I learn that we'll get what we really want if we know what we really want.

~and all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding

i hate waiting

2007-08-24T10:35:00.000+08:00

The title says it all.
Waiting can make my blood pressure goes up and my heart beats faster.
Please don't make me wait.

Today I learn that to forget is to forgive. If you don't forgive, you'll never forget.

~i gotta go find my own way, i gotta go make my own mistakes, sorry man for feeling, feeling the way i do

that little psychic

2007-08-21T09:18:00.001+08:00

That little psychic is psyching me to go to Jabar's wedding this Wednesday at Kedah.
I'm making so much excuses but it's just hard to say no to that little psychic.
That little psychic is creating so many reasons for why I should be there.

hjr x de kwn nk pegi dgn la paap
x pe, bachok ade. Panjang pn ade.. nnt paap ckp dgn panjang ye
hjr segan la paap. Bkn biase sgt dgn derang
x pe, 5 jam je. Hjr tdo je 5 jam tu
paap ckp sng la, yg susah hjr.. 5 jam tu br smpi SP kan.. alor star lg lm kn
x la 5 jam je.. x ssh hjr sehr je..
esk pg hjr ade byk keje. Tkt x sempat
ks sempat jgk la..
nnt kt sn hjr nk duduk mn? Mls la nk sshkn org..
rmh madie ade.. nnt paap ckp ngn madie.. klu x rmh paap pn ade..
ye ye je nk ddk rmh paap..
hjr x penah dtg rmh paap lg kn..
ye la 2.. tp hjr x de bj la paap
xkn x de kot
bj buruk ade la. Bj lawa2 sume tggl kt rmh. Nnt org len sume pakai lawa2 hjr sorang je pakai buruk
x pelh. Nnt hjr bleh tlg cuci pinggan =p
ceh, ingtkn nk belikn bj br. Hjr ade class la kamis ni paap
ponteng la.. sehr je hjr
nnt klu hjr x pegi class hjr x fhm ape yg dia ajar
skali je. Nnt blk paap teman la..
hjr kene mengajar hr jumaat
smpt la.. mlm kamis kte blk la
hjr byk keje la paap.. nnt mn smpt nk prepare ape yg nk kene ajar.. nnt paap kawen hjr dtg ye
smpt la. sekali je hjr.. paap kawen lmbt lg
hmm.. ok, tp hjr x jnji..
jnji la..
ishhh.. psycho la dia ni..
dtg ye, ye? Paap tunggu hjr

See, there's no way for me to resist his request.
It's just hard to say NO.
This little psychic called me more than 5 times yesterday just to make sure that I'll go.
So I'll go after I finish up all my work today. Anything for you paap. Cehhh!!

While having my breakfast this morning, I listened to this sweet song on hot fm. It's another plain nice song by Ungu.

Kekasih Gelapku

kumencintaimu lebih dari apapun

meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tau

kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku

meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku

yang kucari selama ini dalam hidupku

dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku

yang dalam hidupku

kumencintaimu lebih dari apapun

meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tau

kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku

meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku

meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

mencintaimu lebih dari apapun

kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku

meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

By:ungu

Today I learn that people would do anything just to get what they crave for.

~you say you wanna stay by my side, darling your head is not right

angan dan sedar

2007-08-20T08:30:00.000+08:00

Just come back from home. Feel so sleepy. Usually once I reach UPM every Monday, I'll continue sleeping in my room. But then there was my room mate sleeping on my bed and so I went straight to this postgraduate room. Sigh..

My morning is lovely. Drink milo for breakfast and it was raining all the way from my house to UPM. Got to listen to one of his favorite songs, angan dan sedar by Mawi *wink* aired on Era. This song makes me miss him so, so much. I mean, how I could not miss him, every time we listen to this song in his car, he'll sing his heart out and I've captured that moment in my mind. Hehe.. Owh, this week only, two ships will come in, which is quite rare and I'm quite sure that he'll be super-busy. Slalunye 1 pn dh busy cam ape. Whatever, maybe I shouldn't bug him with smsssss and phone calls. Need to learn how to be independent sometimes, right?

Weekend was absolutely marvellous. Saturday, watched few good DVDs and movies on television during the day, went to watch Ratatouille at IMAX on night, and had McDonalds for dinner.

Ratatouille is wonderful! A rat named Remy has a dream to become the greatest chef in Paris. His cooks are the best. Ratatouille looks yummy and even his omelette look delicious to me. Well, yummy enough that it can make you feel hungry just by observing it. Hmm.. I think you got my point of how yummy his cooking is. So if you haven't watched it, hurry move you ass and watch this must watch movie people! And to put it in a nut shell, Ratatouille rocks!! Hehe..

I went to my senior's wedding on Sunday. Played fuzzy wuzzy game in the car that can make people suffer just to find the answer. Then went to another long-lost-friend of mine wedding in the evening. Got to meet with lots of friends. Spent time with Fatimah and Faizal after that wed. We spent hours talking about what we did during our schooling time. We jogged together through the sweet memories from primary to secondary school. It was amazing how Faizal could still remember my dad's car number plate. Of course I still remember the number but we don't have that car anymore and for a friend that could still remember it, that was just awesome. Even me, I don't remember people's number plates except for JGM5735, WHG6316, WMN195, and WNE2724 (err.. is this right?). So, no offence if I ever forget your birthday ok? He also reminded me of the talent time day at our school, when my friends and I sang this one KRU song. We did win! Haha.. So, funny!

Hmm.. enough with my crap first thing in the morning. I just want to get rid of my sleepiness. Thank you for reading =D.

Today I learn that hmm.. hmm.. I still haven't learn anything =p (still early kn?).

~mohon selembar harapan, buatku sedang rawan, biarpun sekadar cuma senyuman, ikhlas kau pujaan

now that's intelligence

2007-08-16T17:39:00.001+08:00

I find this story is interesting:

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber put a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins (1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER............

Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

Today I learn that character is higher than intellect.

~pushing forward and arching back, bring me closer to heart attack, say goodbye and just fly away

things around

2007-08-15T19:07:00.000+08:00

Lots of things are happening around me and I'm too lazy to give them even a sh*t. Too lazy, too tired, to think about other people. I may look super-duper happy but who knows what's inside. Let them say I'm selfish, I just don't care. I don't want to care. As long as I'm not disturbing or ruining others life, then I still can consider it's okay. What I've done may not look right to you, you, and yes you but I am sure, definitely sure that I've done the right thing. There's no way for me to make all the people happy.

Just came back from JB. Penat lg nih.. Met my bf over there before he'll sail to Japan at the end of this month. He got to attend few meetings and does the ship check thingy (is this right?). Well, I don't really know what he'll do actually, but think I got the right point here. I may not understand his work but at least I'm listening while he telling =p. He doesn't want to go at the first place but I really want him to go. Think that it's a good opportunity that not everybody can get. Don't know why he got promoted easily and got good opportunities easily. Owh, I think I know. Sbb die kesayangan bosnye dan juge kesayangan saye. Hehe.. Owh, maybe I haven't told you about my bf. I'm officially declaring that I have a super-duper-nice boyfriend and I'm officially declaring that past was only a history. Screw the memories! I want to start everything fresh!

It won't take long. Only two weeks. Two weeks without phone calls, emails, and sms. Apetah lg nk jmpe. Will I survive? Anyhow, let just pretend that I'm strong. I am strong pn kn? Hehe.. Pejam celik pejam celik hbs la 2 weeks tu.

The weekend was okay. Read a book on Saturday and went out with my sister to repair my notebook on Sunday. Bought new Guess handbag for myself. I'm soooooo happy! I've wanted to buy new handbag since ages. Not ages actually, only few months wayyy back. Hehe.. It has been a while since I buy something for myself. At least I can match it with my not-so-new sandals.

Till then~

Today I learn that it's not easy to pretend to be strong.

~when the sun shines we'll shine together, told you i'll be here forever

life's too short for the wrong job

2007-08-10T10:10:00.001+08:00

Cool posters found in the forwarded e-mail. These posters are part of Jobsintown.de campaign for those who need a new job. Cool huh?

It has been a month since I become part time tutor in UPM. I teach Modern Engineering Mathematics every Friday from 8 – 9 a.m. The class consists of 23 students. Three of them are girls and the remaining are boys. Almost one forth of the students is Chinese. Teaching is not a problem for me since I've done that before in US. I've been enjoying teaching since then. It's not bad after all. Bak kata Dayah, one of my friends yg dh jd full time tutor,
"kadang2 best layan2 dak dak yg cute-cute.. hohohoh.. kadang2 aku rase nak lempang gak dak2 nih.."

Hehe.. Teaching is fun especially Math, a simple and straight forward subject (really??). I mean, you have the formula and everything and your job is to plug in numbers meticulously in the right formula. The headache comes when you don't know how to choose the right formula and equations.

Also, yesterday there was fire drill around 4 a.m. at College 11. The time was so perfect for student kn? NOT~ What were they they thinking? They should at least consider students' sleeping time. I mean, student should sleep early right? Hehe.. Felt like walking while sleeping. Whatever.

Today I learn that to teach is to learn again.

~i promise not to go if you promise not to fade away

i never do things right

2007-08-08T17:24:00.004+08:00

Nm sy Hajar. Nm glamor Siti. Sy dilahirkn dgn sepasang tgn yang sgt gatal. Nak tau ape yg sy dh buat?

Saya: Aa.. Laptop org rsk! Org terinstall software yg x compatible dgn vista. Skt jiwa!
Dia: Laa np plk jd cmtu..cmne leh t'install plak ***… Dh tu nk wt cmne tu..
Saya: Tah. Jpg htr g kedai kot. Tah, tgn ni gtl sgt. Dh terang lagi bersuluh dia tulis kt situ x sesuai ngn vista. Haaa... Kn dh kua ayat cm2
Dia: *** ni jgn r cuai sgt..clalu cmtu. Dh la laptop br kn.. Syg r ckit harta awk tu ***.. Nnt jgn lp lunch tau..

Masih berselerakah sy utk mkn lunch??

To make the story short, I've attempted to download McAfee Virus Scan v8.5i which is compatible with Vista few times, but my attempt never success. So I thought I might try installing McAfee Virus Scan v8.0i that I copied from old laptop though it clearly state 'Do not use with the MS Windows Vista operating system'. I thought the worst case could happen is that I need to delete the software. Unfortunately, my laptop crashed because of that software. Yes, rules are meant to be broken, but not this time! Now I have to use my super-duper heavy old laptop. Serves me right!

Need to reformat my laptop and it will cost me 50 bucks. Dayyymnnn!!
Paap…. Formatkan!!! Heeeeeeeeee……

Today is Dr. Ameer's 23rd birthday. So, H a p p y B i r t h d a y A m e e r =)!! Daymn he's still young (at least younger than me =p). Haven't met him for almost a year. Last time I saw him was when we went to Penang together with Jojoe. I asked for teh letak ais letak limau (sounds silly. should be teh ais limau. sy sgt ske meperbodohkn diri sy dpn org kn?) at this one mamak stall. And they end up laughing at me. Anyway, how do we say happy birthday in Russian? Ameer did try to teach me some Russians' words but guess I never learn. Sorry Ameer.

machokn?

Owh, owh, and today is also nazriq's birthday. So, H a p p y B i r t h d a y N a z r i q =)!!

macho jgkkn?

Today I learn that to follow rules and regulations is a good way to be on the safe side.

~if you want something badly, let it go. if it comes back to you, then it's going to be yours forever. if it doesn't then it's never going to be yours

right thing at right time

2007-08-07T15:50:00.000+08:00

Geez!!

It was not even 8 a.m. but I've lost 10 bucks. It's not much but god, why me and why is this happening first thing in the morning? Daymnnn!!

I guess, we will never get what we always want at the right time. When I finally decided to focus on my PhD, lots of companies out there start to offer me good jobs. Really want to focus on one thing at a time and have to say no for that without hesitation (well, I do hesitate at times because some of the offers come from multinational companies). You know, when I was small, I have this one dream, a dream to become a cute lecturer (lol =p). But now the dream is not to become a lecturer, instead, I want to become successful engineer. The dream has changed since I started to take engineering courses. Guess the courses and the lecturers have influenced me quite well during my college years.

The thing is that the good offers only come after a semester of my postgraduate studies and there will be no turning back. Well, I can always quit my studies but I don't want it to become 'yang dikejar x dpt, yg dikendong berciciran'. Man, I'm still good at simpulan bahasa or is it peribahasa? Haha.. already forgot about it.

Whatever it is, I'm still young (owh, really?). I'll get my study done pretty fast, get married, and try to search for my dream job. It's not that I don't like teaching. I like teaching but working as an engineer sounds more fun than working as a lecturer. No specific reason for choosing engineer as dream job (haha.. this sounds real silly)! Anyhow, I can always be a lecturer if I'm not fortunate enough =p. What a crap to read!!

Today I learn that I need to be more careful in keeping things or else I'll lose 10 bucks again (daymnnn again!!).

~I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them

good days

2007-08-06T14:59:00.001+08:00

I'm officially using my new Dell notebook. Yay! This notebook is not too great but as long as it comes with the new Intel Centrino Duo processor technology, Windows Vista, and the memory is 2GB RAM, then this notebook is fine with me. Fine enough to play spider solitaire or diner dash or that crime games again and again (boring!! Hehe..).

The weekend was awesome. Nothing is awesome than got to meet your old, close friends. Went to Ipoh on Saturday to attend my ex-housemate's (Azie) wedding. Azie is a good friend of mine back in my college years in US. We share problems, talk, travel, shop, watch movies, and cook together. Time flies so fast and now she's married. I have never imagined that but it has comes true.

The journey was pretty fun though. Two cars, headed to Ipoh together and then we went on our separate ways. We have Aiman as our driver, Daia and Sha as the entertainers and me, the 'lurus bendul' girl who trusted everything they said. I mean, how could I not believe them, they were so convincing when talking though almost 50% of what they said couldn't be trusted and meant to fool me. But that was the fun part. The other part were gossiping, singing, eating cornetto, and laughing like no other. The bad news was that Daia lost her hand phone during our stop at R&R. Have taken lots of pictures and will upload soon.

We went back to KL on the same day. Decided to go karaoke (our-favourite-activity back in US) in the evening, but I canceled the plan to join them since it was already late (is 9 pm late? Yes, at least for my parents =p).

Went to watch The Simpson on Sunday with my sister and brother. The movie was quite funny (well, what do you expect from watching a cartoon?).

Here is one nice song, beautiful girls..

Today i learn that good days can't be everyday, or else there wouldn't be any good days at all.

And owh, yes, 4th August was Masuki's birthday.

H A P P Y B E L A T E D B I R T H D A Y M A S U K I !

~i don't love you like I did yesterday

to break or to be broken

2007-08-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

I've known him for less than a month. He is tall, fair (lucky he is fair, I prefer dark =p), and I can give him 4 stars for his look. Super-friendly, that title suits him pretty good. But now he's gone. He got a good job and has leave today. Man, I'll miss his nonsense.

He, reminds me of someone. Yes, that tall figure, that fair skin, that sweet smile, that friendly looks really reminds me of that someone. Someone who used to be so closed to me. Someone I consider special and still am. Someone I knew for 2 months and then we stop contacting each other. Someone I knew when I worked in Johor. Someone who's heart has been broken by me (well, not broken as in ‘break’, it’s broken, ‘break’). And someone I haven't met for almost 8 months.

Believe it or not, everybody has experiencing heart broken and breaking someone's heart. I mean, we may not only break boyfriend or girlfriend's heart but also our family members' heart. We don't do it intentionally. When it happens, it just happens. As for me, I've broke 3 hearts and my heart has been broken 3 times. Fair enough!

If there is a choice (a good one), I'm quite sure no one wants to see other people get hurt and become sad. Everything happens for a reason. But here I am talking about a choice. We have lots of choices and there's no right and wrong in making choice. If you make the wrong choice, there will always be a way to correct what is wrong. Is it really? Do you know that when you have lots of choices, you'll suffer more painful headache?

Because for me, making choice or decision is the hardest part of life.

H A P P Y 2 5 t h B I R T H D A Y M Y D E A R E S T S I S, L Y N N E !

~falling down under the pale moonlight, you were holding to me, like a someone broken

forget

2007-08-02T07:53:00.001+08:00

People say, to forget is to let go. I say, to forget is to erase everything. You erase the sms, you erase the pictures, you erase the emails, you erase the phone numbers, you erase diaries, you erase blogs. But can you forget everything? No! Absolutely no, no no! You hide the pictures and things related in hideous place, in a place only you know where but you look at it again once you think you have enough strength to face everything all over again. Think you strong? Tears will still stream down your face. You can't recover completely because the memories are still in your brain, in your mind, in your soul. My best friend says, it's normal to miss something or someone you used to miss. Totally normal!

Guess you know the reason why I deleted my previous blog. The answer is simple, is to forget! It's not fair to delete all the memories but some must be deleted because I don't want to think about it even a bit. I don't want to live my life with that memories and the easiest way to delete the unwanted memories is to delete the entire blog. Past was history, today is victory. The story may not be written, it may not be appears solid, but it's still here in my mind. Let the time erase everything.

I can feel that the memories are running away from me now.

~when you try your best but you don’t succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need

what is love?

2007-08-01T08:16:00.000+08:00

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous.... then it's not love.. it's "Infatuation"

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't... then it's not love.. it's "Compromise"

If you love some one because you have been kissed by him... then it's not love.. it's "Inferiority complex"

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings... then it's not love.. it's "Charity"

If you love some one because you share every thing with him... then it's not love... it's "Friendship"

BUT...
If you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him... that's "LOVE"

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's "LOVE"

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to... that's "LOVE"